


Arthur (Pendragon?)

by Kitiara_Raistlin



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, F/M, Mystery, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-03-15 07:09:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 29,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3438182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitiara_Raistlin/pseuds/Kitiara_Raistlin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur wakes up one morning to find no one remembers who he is, or that Uthur ever even had a son. As he struggles to regain his identity he starts to wonder: does he really want to?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set during season two, some time after 'The Sins of the Father'.

Arthur groaned inwardly as he shifted in his bed. He ached in several places. Yesterday's tournament had been brutal. He yawned. Merlin should be coming in soon to wake him up. There was training for the knights after breakfast. His father wanted him sitting in on a meeting with a diplomat from a neighboring kingdom after lunch. Tonight there was the grand feast. A long, busy day ahead, and all he wanted to do was sleep.

He considered getting up now, but closed his eyes and decided to wait for Merlin. He'd be there soon and it'd…

He fell back asleep.

* * *

 

Arthur jerked awake several hours later. He glanced out the window. Darn it! It must be near noon. Why hadn't Merlin come?

He jumped out of bed and pulled on his clothes as quickly as he could. He ran out, down the hallway and headed for the stairs. He was torn between making his way to the training field or heading towards Gaius's and having a good long yell at Merlin. His temper won out.

He burst into the physician's home and Merlin, who had a huge stack of books in one hand and was putting them away with the other, gave a large jump and dropped everything as the door banged back.

"What's the idea-"

But Arthur interrupted. "What do you think you're doing here?! You were supposed to wake me up hours ago!"

Merlin's eyebrows shot up.

Arthur continued: "I missed the training! The knights will have been out there waiting all morning and what were you doing? Sleeping in?"

"Uh well…" Merlin seemed to be eying all the exits.

"Sometimes Merlin, I think you must be trying to be this completely useless!"

"Look," interrupted Merlin, "I'm sorry if you slept late but I-"

"You're *sorry*? Why on earth didn't you come?"

"I'm sorry," Merlin repeated, "But I really have no idea who you are or what you're talking about!"

Arthur blinked and then felt himself grow angrier. "Merlin let me tell you, a practical joke isn't going to make me feel any more forgiving towards you right now!"

"Tthis isn't a joke," said Merlin, a note of complete confusion in his voice, "I really don't know why you think you know me!"

Really, Arthur had had no idea Merlin was this good of an actor. But, he added to himself, he was certainly debuting the skill at the wrong time.

"Look Merlin," said Arthur.

"How do you even know my name?" Merlin broke in.

"If you don't stop this right now," Arthur said, raising his voice. "I swear I'll throw you into the dungeons for the day. Now stop this ridiculous-"

He heard the front door open and he turned around to see Gaius enter. Gaius looked at him a moment and then addressing Merlin asked,

"Do I have a patient?"

"You have a nutter," muttered Merlin. Then, slowly edging away from Arthur, he told Gaius, "He keeps going on about how I was supposed to wake him up this morning."

"Were you?" Gaius frowned.

"How could I have? I've never seen him before in my life!"

"Now really," snapped Arthur, "This has gone too far Merlin!"

Gaius frowned and came farther into the room, approaching Arthur. "How do you know his name?"

"Gaius!" exclaimed Arthur appalled. Surely Merlin couldn't have gotten him on board for this inane prank too.

Gaius looked slightly surprised at his own name but continued. "Why don't you sit down? Maybe tell us your name and tell me how you're feeling and I'll look you over. Maybe you were drinking a little last night?"

"Or a lot this morning…" Merlin said under his breath, but it reached Arthur's ears.

Arthur looked from one to the other of them. Sure, he could believe Merlin doing this. Maybe the man overslept himself, maybe he just forgot about waking him up. Maybe he thought this was a funny way to get out of trouble. But he could not imagine Gaius going along with it. So if this wasn't just an absurd lapse of judgment on the physician's part…what was wrong with them? What was going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like my writing and feel up to trying an original work, you can check out my online web serial Holly(Woods), which is a cross between mystery, romance and soap opera. You can check the first chapter out [here.](https://hollywoodserial.wordpress.com/2013/01/25/1-the-audition/)


	2. Chapter 2

Arthur felt himself sink into a chair and look up at Gaius and Merlin. He felt torn between confusion and doubt.

"Alright," he said, trying to sound calm, "You don't…know me." There was a hint of a question in his voice.

"Here," said Gaius, reaching over for a bottle and pouring a small concoction into a cup and handing it to Arthur, "Why don't you drink this? Maybe it will clear your brain a little."

"My brain's not the one that needs clearing," Arthur said a little dryly, but he took and gulped it down. Instantly he regretted it. "Erg, that's foul. What is that?"

"Just a small mixture that should help hangovers and negative effects of drinking."

"I'm not drunk," snapped Arthur, "It's you all I'm worried about. If this is real…and I have to believe it is because surely you Gaius wouldn't do this…would you?"

"If I knew who you were young man," said Gaius very seriously, "I promise you, I would tell you right now." Gaius felt a tug on his sleeve and saw Merlin gesturing to the side. "Excuse me," he said to Arthur, who had buried his face in his hands. He stepped away with Merlin into a corner of the room and looked questioningly.

"Are we sure he's safe?" asked Merlin. "I mean the man must be mad. Before you came in he was threatening to throw me in the dungeons. He doesn't seem stable."

"Well," said Gaius confidently, "If he really is crazy and dangerously unstable, I have confidence you could handle anything he were to try. And he seems so confused. We have to help him. It could be as simple as a misunderstanding."

"I don't see how this could be a misunder-"

Merlin was interrupted by Arthur, who was standing to his feet.

"Alright!" Arthur clapped his hands together. "I'm going to assuming that you are both deadly serious. You really don't know me. One man, I might, *might* be able to attribute to natural causes, but two men is too much. Something is going on and we need to find out what. I need-, no, _you_ both need help. You don't remember me now, what if this gets worse and you forget other things. Perhaps you already have…maybe this is some sort of illness and you'll forget everything…"

Merlin snorted.

"I'm afraid," said Gaius, "In all my years I've never heard of a disease that would explain what you are describing. While there are illnesses that affect the mind…"

"Maybe that's what he's got," suggested Merlin.

"Look, Merlin," snapped Arthur, "I'm making allowances because at the moment you don't remember any better but I swear, if you keep this up, I'm throwing you in the stocks whether you remember me or not!'

"Really? And why on earth do you think you have that power?"

"Because I'm the Prince you dolt!"

There was a very long silence.

"Perhaps you should sit back down," said Gaius gently.

"No I will not sit back down! I am Arthur Pendragon! Uther's son and the heir to the throne!"

"Are you trying to say," said Gaius gently, coming forward and laying a kindly hand on Arthur's shoulder. "That you think you are Uther's…child?"

"Yes!"

"I see….and who do you believe is your mother?"

Arthur sighed in exasperation. "My mother was the Lady Ygraine, who else?"

Gaius shook his head. "Look here my dear boy, Ygraine never had any living children. She died in childbirth along with the baby."

It was at this point that the last vestige of hope that Gaius might just be pulling his leg evaporated in Arthur. Gaius would never use his mother's death like that.

Arthur took a deep breath. They could figure out what was going on later, now he just needed to get them to believe him.

"Alright, look let me prove to you what I am saying, come up to the castle with me. I'll show you my bedroom. We'll talk to my Father and Morgana and they'll back up my story. "

Gaius looked doubtful. "I doubt we should bring this up with the King, it would only distress him."

"We're talking to my father! You're his oldest friend! He'll be concerned and his word, you might actually take on this. Now come on! Both of you," he snapped at Merlin, who he noticed trying to sneak towards his bedroom door.

He headed for the exit only glancing behind his shoulder once to make sure they were both following. Gaius looked troubled but was moving.

Merlin stood stock still for a moment but as he saw Gaius follow he sighed and hurried to catch up. If this man was crazy, he couldn't very well leave Gaius alone with him.

The three hurried across the courtyard, up the front steps and into the castle, up more stairs through a hallway and in a few minutes Arthur was bursting into a bedroom and looking expectant as he turned on Merlin and Gaius and gestured triumphantly.

"There!" he announced. "This room is full of my things! There's my sword lying on the table, the closet is full of my clothes and my spares boots are right here next to the door where Merlin forgot to put them away."

Gaius looked around the bedroom and frowned. It was odd. He moved towards the closet and opened it. There were indeed clothes in there and they did look expensively made. But, he reminded himself, that did not make them this man's. He frowned and shook his head.

"Whoever this room belongs to-" he began.

"It's mine!"

"I could say it was mine," pointed out Merlin. "That wouldn't prove anything."

"Look Merlin," said Arthur rubbing his forehead. "I've met your mother! Her name is Hunith. I met your friend William. I went to your village and we saved it from an overlord!"

Merlin frowned. "My village was threatened. I went back." He stopped abruptly and shifted his weight. He couldn't really continue to explain to this man that he'd fought off Kanen and his men with magic.

Of course, how did this man know his mother's name? He had mostly been concerned that this a was lunatic who might lose control. Now he was more worried he was something far more sinister.

Arthur let out a grunt of exasperation. "Fine. We'll go to my father next, maybe you'll actually believe him!"

He whirled around and made for the door.

Gaius hurried to catch up as Arthur practically jogged down the hallway.

"I really don't think we should bother the king with this," he said, trying to sound soothing. "Whatever is going on-"

"Not bother him? His chief physician has gone mad, he needs to know about this! You will believe _him_ won't you?" asked Arthur, glancing towards him quickly. "If he identifies me as his son, you will believe him?"

"Yes," said Gaius hesitantly.

"Good, then come on." Arthur sped up and moved towards the throne room. The large oak doors were opened and he swept passed them and entered the room.

Several people were already there. A handful knights and a courtier or servant here or there. Uther was seated on his throne with Morgana at one hand talking to him. She was laughing, Uther was smiling. They looked relaxed. Even with the troubling events, Arthur couldn't help but take a moment to feel relieved. There had been something off between the two of them for some time now. Ever since Gwen's father's death, things…things had not been the same. It was good to see them getting along.

"Your Majesty," said Arthur, stepping closer to the throne. He noticed the guards seemed to become a little more alert as he moved forward. "There's something wrong."

"Indeed?" asked Uther. He looked startled but gestured to Morgana to step away. "How may I help you?"

"It's Gaius. Gaius and Merlin they don't seem…" Arthur shifted, a little embarrassed. He wasn't quite sure how to say this. "…to be able to remember me."

Uther raised an eyebrow towards Gaius.

"This isn't a joke, as absurd as it sounds. This is real! Something is very wrong with both of them. You have to tell them who I am!"

"And who exactly are you?" asked Uther. Arthur groaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like my writing and feel up to trying an original work, you can check out my online web serial Holly(Woods), which is a cross between mystery, romance and soap opera. You can check the first chapter out [here.](https://hollywoodserial.wordpress.com/2013/01/25/1-the-audition/)


	3. Chapter 3

He probably should have made a hasty exit at around that point, somewhere in the back of his mind a voice was yelling at him to be careful. But Arthur ignored it. He was gripped by an overwhelming necessity to make this stop. To make Uther, Gaius, Merlin, and from the strange looks she was giving him, Morgana, remember him.

"I'm your son!" he yelled. "You have to remember me!"

Uther's face instantly went from perplexed to stony. "I do not have a son."

"Yes! You do! Look I don't know what's going on here but you have to believe me!"

"If I were you," said Uther, his voice cold. "I would leave now."

"There has to be a way I can prove this to you! Look last week, there was the meeting with the Ambassador sent by King Halren? We were the only three in the room. I can tell you exactly what he said. The terms that were proposed for a treaty to govern the southern woods that border his territory-"

Uther stood up abruptly. "How do you know about that?"

"Because I am the Prince of Camelot and I sat in on the meeting! There were only the three of us there!"

"As heir to the throne of Camelot _Morgana_ was present. You, I have never seen before in my life. And the knowledge you have of the meeting is suspicious to say the least."

"Your Majesty," said Gaius quickly. "I don't think he is anything sinister. He's just confused. No doubt he's sick in the head."

"That would not explain how he knows the contents of a private meeting that transpired in this castle! Morgana," he said, turning to her, "I assume you told no one?"

"No, of course not," she shook her head.

Uther turned back towards Arthur and studied him very gravely. "I must ask you, and for your own sake I strongly urge you to tell me the truth; how do you know what was discussed during that meeting?"

Arthur wavered. He knew that look of his father's. He had seen it directed at other people but never at himself. It never boded well. But he had to make Uther listen. He had to make him believe him.

"Please father," said Arthur, desperation slipping into his voice. "Just give me a few minutes. I can tell you more things, things only your son would know! I am your son! Look at me! Look at my face. You always said I had my mother's eyes, her hair, I-"

He knew instantly he'd gone the wrong direction.

Uther's face turned furious and he gestured angrily to two guards who instantly stepped forward and grabbed Arthur by the arms.

"If," said Uther, anger seething from his voice, "You do not feel like disclosing your sources at the moment, perhaps you will feel more inclined after a few days in the dungeons? Take him away!"

"Please, Your Majesty, I know this man," said a tentative voice from the doorway. Everyone turned.

"Gwen," breathed Arthur, relief surging through him.

"You know him Gwen?" asked Morgana surprised.

"Yes." Gwen stepped further into the room. Her arms were filled with a stack of sheets. Arthur had never felt happier to see her.

"Who is he?" demanded Uther.

But would he believe her? Arthur wondered. Would his father take the word of a servant girl? Even one close to Morgana? As he remembered the look on his father's face when he had mentioned his mother, Arthur doubted it.

"Well I don't know him personally," said Gwen a little hesitantly. "He's been around the poorer parts of Camelot these past few weeks."

What? Arthur looked at her sharply.

"I think he came here from the village Gorrick. They say he was in a battle many years ago and got a terrible head wound and he's never been the same since. He thinks he's someone new practically every week." Gwen's voice grew steadier as she continued. "Last week he said he was an important diplomat. The week before it was a tailor. Next week he'll probably think he's a candlestick maker and start measuring everyone's candlesticks. He's just sick, he's not dangerous Your Majesty, and there have never been any reports of violence from him."

By the time she had finished Arthur's jaw was hanging open. Which probably supported her story that he wasn't all there when Uther looked him over thoughtfully.

"But how did he know about the meeting with the Ambassador from Halren?"

"Well…" said Gwen slowly. "I heard the Ambassador went to the tavern one night while he was here and…had a little too much. No precise details were given, but he did give a few hints. Probably a few of them," she waved at Arthur, "reached him."

"But he said he knew details."

"He didn't actually give any of them," pointed out Morgana thoughtfully, "He did knew what the treaty was concerning but while he claimed to know the details he didn't name them."

"Is this true?" asked Uther, looking at Arthur, "Do you know the precise contents of the treaty and the meeting which took place with the Ambassador?"

"I…" Arthur cut off abruptly. It'd be smarter to shut up, he thought. "No. I don't."

Uther remained studying him for another minute and then waved the guards away. "Very well," he said. "Release him. Gaius will you take him to your house and look him over, see if there's anything you can do for him, but," he looked very sternly at Arthur. "I don't want to see you in my castle again, and I had better hear no more about you claiming to be the Prince of Camelot or it shall go very ill for you in the future. I have showed mercy this time. Do not expect it again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like my writing and feel up to trying an original work, you can check out my online web serial Holly(Woods), which is a cross between mystery, romance and soap opera. You can check the first chapter out [here.](https://hollywoodserial.wordpress.com/2013/01/25/1-the-audition/)


	4. Chapter 4

Arthur felt Gaius lay a hand on his arm and gently lead him away. Vaguely he sensed himself being walked through hallways and out into the courtyard but he felt too dazed to take note. He wanted to wake up; he wanted this all to be some awful dream. If Merlin woke him up now, he wouldn't care what time it was.

His own father had denied him. His own father did not know his name or face. His own father had no memory of him.

Gaius led him through the door into the large front room of his house and set him down on a low bench. Merlin and Gwen followed behind.

"Will he be alright?" asked Gwen.

"We will see," said Gaius. "Tell me, what else do you know about him? Do you have any more information about this head injury?"

"Oh," Gwen looked embarrassed, "Actually, I've never heard of this man before in my life."

Merlin grinned. "You mean you just completely lied to the King's face?"

"I had to," said Gwen, shaking off her embarrassment and meeting Gaius's frown with a look of defiance. "I was walking past when I heard all the shouting. The poor man is clearly confused if he's insisting he's someone who doesn't exist and Uther was going to throw him in the dungeon. And what if what's wrong with him," she waved at Arthur, "doesn't get any better? In fact being thrown into the dungeon could make it worse. And in a few day's he could still be insisting he's the Prince of Camelot? What would Uther do then? Torture him? Kill him? I learned too well Uther's sense of justice at my father's trial."

Gaius sighed. "I understand how you feel Guinevere. But you took a terrible chance if Uther ever finds out."

Gwen bit her lip and then gesturing to the sheets she was holding said, "I have to get back to work." She turned to leave.

"Thank you Gwen," said Arthur abruptly. She turned and looked at him. "Thank you for what you just did for me."

"You're welcome…what's your name?"

"Arthur."

She smiled. "You're welcome Arthur." She walked out of the room.

"Alright young man," said Gaius as the door shut behind her. "Let look you over. Maybe you can tell us a little bit about yourself, what do you remember?"

"You wouldn't believe it if I told you," sighed Arthur, burying his head in his hands.

"Well maybe if you told us something that made sense, we'd believe you?" suggested Merlin brightly.

Arthur shot him a look. "Thank you Merlin. That's really helpful. As always."

"I can't help but notice you do seem to know all of our names. That is peculiar. Granted that information could be learned fairly easily after spending a short time in Camelot…" Gaius mused.

"Gwen might have been making that whole story up out of thin air," said Merlin, "But it certainly would fit. He certainly acts like he's got a head injury."

"Could you all just stop it!" snapped Arthur. "I don't need to hear you all speculating on why and how I'm crazy. I know I'm not crazy. I know I'm Arthur Pendragon."

"You heard what His Majesty said," said Gaius firmly. "And you also heard Gwen. If you do not want to end up in a great deal of trouble you will stop this instantly. I know you may very well believe yourself to be the prince, but let me assure you things that seem real often are not. There are many poor souls in the world that suffer from delusions and each believes very firmly in their reality. But you are in very grave danger with this illusion."

"Illusion…" murmured Arthur. He sat for a moment in thought.

Of course! The only explanation for what was happening was magic. That was obvious. There was no other way everyone could have forgotten. And he knew he wasn't crazy. Right?...no, he wasn't. He was Arthur Pendragon. Uther's heir. He couldn't let others force him to doubt that. This was all a spell. But how far did that spell go? Did it affect just Camelot? Or did it reach beyond? He had to be able to break it somehow, but where to begin? He had never heard of a spell like this and he had no idea who could have cast it or why.

Gaius asked several questions about his health, checked him over and finally gave him something to drink which he said might help him to think clearer. It was moving on to late evening by the time Gaius had finished and Arthur was just realizing he had nowhere to go, no money and no friends, when Gaius asked him kindly if he would like to sleep on the floor for the night.

Arthur accepted quickly. He would sleep tonight, and if things were the same in the morning he would decide what to do. Find the sorcerer who cast it? Find a way to break the spell? He would decide tomorrow. He yawned and suddenly found himself immeasurably tired. He began to suspect that perhaps what Gaius had given had actually been to help him sleep, and he sighed at the thought. Clearly Gaius was no closer to believing him. But as he lay down on the blanket Merlin had spread on the floor for him, he couldn't really find it in him to care at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like my writing and feel up to trying an original work, you can check out my online web serial Holly(Woods), which is a cross between mystery, romance and soap opera. You can check the first chapter out [here.](https://hollywoodserial.wordpress.com/2013/01/25/1-the-audition/)


	5. Chapter 5

Merlin lay awake, listening to the sounds of Camelot falling asleep. He heard the last shops being closed up, the last horse being led to the stable, and finally the last drunk stumbling home from the tavern as it closed up.

He sat up in bed and strained his ears to catch any sound from downstairs. Other than Gaius's usual snore, he heard nothing, no movement. Gently, being careful to walk softly, he got out of bed and crept softly across the room and down the hall.

He surveyed the large room. It was easy enough to remember where Gaius' bed was and avoid it, but he had to strain his eyes in the darkness to make out the dark shape that was Arthur's.

He careful slid along the wall. He reached the front door and slowly eased it open, wincing as it gave one particularly loud squeak and then he was through and outside.

He sped up now, hurrying towards one of the side gates of the city.

Twenty minutes, and a simple spell to distract the guards at the gate, later and he was out in the woods. He walked quickly looking about him for landmarks, making sure he was on the right path. He was so busy following the path, he nearly jumped when the figure stepped out from behind the tree.

"You should be more careful," said the cloaked shape, "Always be on your guard. I could have been anyone."

"Morgause," said Merlin smiling, "Sorry if I'm late."

"Not at all." The figure pushed back the hood of its cloak, revealing the woman's face and letting her blonde curls loose. "Let's walk."

She turned and started into the woods, Merlin falling into step beside her.

"How is Morgana?" she asked, after a minute of silence.

"She's good, she's really good," said Merlin, "The bracelet seems to have really helped. Gwen says she hasn't had a nightmare in weeks."

"Good…you told no one it was from me?"

"No, I didn't…" Merlin hesitated a minute and then asked, "But I don't understand…you ask after her every time and you had me make sure she got the bracelet. You obviously worry and care about her, why don't you let me bring her one night? We could trust her."

"It's dangerous Merlin. At least, at the moment," said Morgause firmly. "She's is Uther's heir, and you yourself have said she supports him."

"Well yes," admitted Merlin, "She does support him but she also questions him. She's not as convinced that all magic is evil as Uther is. She could be brought around."

"Maybe, but what if she could not? What if loyalty to Uther wins out and she tells him about me, or about you. She might change her mind again, but her loyalty to Uther would only have to reign supreme briefly for the damage to be done. We cannot risk it. Not now." Morgause stopped and turned to look Merlin squarely in the eyes. "Not yet. Listen to me. If you joined me Merlin…if we worked together, our combined power would be unstoppable! We could create a world where all can live in peace. Think about what we could do."

"I've always felt," said Merlin after a long thoughtful silence, "That I had to have been given this magic for a reason. There must be something good I was meant to do with it. When my mother sent me here to Camelot I'd hope maybe…I'd find what that reason was…but I'm just as lost here. And seeing Uther grow more and more hateful towards magic…I grow even more confused. I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"Merlin, we could accomplish great things, we could create a great era. Together. _That is your destiny._ "

* * *

Arthur was startled awake by a loud creek. He glanced towards the front door. A murky light, suggesting early dawn, illuminated a figure coming in, and as the person turned to close the door behind them, Arthur was just barely able to recognize Merlin's face.

Arthur closed his eyes again and listened as Merlin crept slowly across the room and up the stairs. He wondered what Merlin had been up to.

He tried to ignore it and go back to sleep, but the effects of whatever Gaius' had given him, had worn off and his mind was racing through the events of yesterday.

He sighed and looked up at the ceiling. Well, he decided, he was going to get nowhere until he found out what kind of spell it was that had taken away all memories of him and he learned how to break it. He could try and track down the person who had cast it but at the moment he had no leads in that direction.

Of course finding out how to break the spell would also prove difficult. As Uther's son he knew nothing about magic or anyone who used it.

Now that wasn't quite true was it? He reminded himself. He did know of the druids and since no one was remembering him, maybe they would be more open to helping him then they would if they knew he was Arthur Pendragon? If he was cursed, he might as well use the curse to his advantage.

He supposed the it was also possible the spell only affected Camelot. And if so, he could find people, kings, noblemen, friends of his father, who Uther might just believe.

Either way, he decided, rolling over and closing he eyes again, now he had a plan. Tomorrow he would leave Camelot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like my writing and feel up to trying an original work, you can check out my online web serial Holly(Woods), which is a cross between mystery, romance and soap opera. You can check the first chapter out [here.](https://hollywoodserial.wordpress.com/2013/01/25/1-the-audition/)


	6. Chapter 6

Morgana sat up sleepily in bed and watched as Gwen laid out her dress for the day. She absently stroked the bracelet on her wrist. She had found it one evening, placed on her nightstand with a simple note saying _'From a friend, to keep the nightmares away'_. She hadn't known what to make of it at the time and she still didn't. She had slipped it on, with an absent thought that it was ridiculous. She had been so exhausted that night after so many days without rest that she had fallen asleep almost at once. And she had slept peacefully through until dawn. She had told herself it was a coincidence. Sheer happenstance. But she had worn the bracelet the next night nonetheless. And the night after. And every night since. And not one nightmare had troubled her.

"That young man," she asked Gwen abruptly, trying to distract her own thoughts. "The one in the throne room yesterday. How is he?"

"I think he's alright, my lady," shrugged Gwen, "He spent the night at Gaius's. Gaius said he calmed down somewhat but still seemed confused. And apparently he left very early this morning."

"Left where?"

"Camelot. He bought a horse and road away."

"Well," said Morgana, pushing away her blankets and rising. "That may be for the best. Uther was very upset last night. The man was delusional but still, just hearing his claims..."

"I know," nodded Gwen.

"Uther will always miss his son, though he never knew him," said Morgana, almost to herself. "Though the baby died with the Lady Ygraine…he still…"

"It must be very hard for him," agreed Gwen as she put out Morgana's shoes.

"Yes. I'm all he has. I've tried hard to be enough but sometimes…I know he wishes that his son…" Morgana sighed.

"You have meant the world to the King," said Gwen gently, placing a hand on Morgana's arm.

"I try to understand him. I try to support and love him. I can't agree with many of the things he does, but I try to understand them. One day I'm going to take his place. One day I'll be Queen of Camelot…I hope I can right the wrongs. At the same time however, remembering that…I can understand why…why he's so afraid all the time."

"Uther? Afraid?"

"Yes. He's afraid of magic. But I think he's also afraid of himself. But I don't think he always realizes that. But so much of what he does comes out of fear. I'm afraid someday I might be that afraid." She shook her head. "I'm sorry Gwen. I shouldn't be talking to you about this. It's too personal for you...your father..."

"It's alright," said Gwen, trying to smile. "I understand."

"It's just that you're my friend. And I feel I can talk to you."

"You never have to doubt it. You can't talk to me about anything."

This time Gwen smiled more sincerely and handed Morgana her comb.

* * *

Arthur hadn't fallen back asleep after making his decision. He had waited a little while and after formalizing more of his plans he had gotten up and left quietly. Vividly remembering his father's warning to not return to the castle, he was tense as he snuck along the hallways and made towards his bedroom. Once there he had fished an old pack out from the back of the closet and stuffed it with a few clothes. He then buckled his sword on and pulled a small bag of coins out from the desk. He wished he had kept more money in his room than he had.

He suspected no one would miss these things. After all they were his things and no one missed him. But a horse from the royal stables would be another matter, so once he reached the safety of the town he made his way to the public stables and bought a horse.

He rode it back to Gaius's. Gaius and Merlin were just sitting down to breakfast. Merlin looked extremely sleepy. Once again Arthur wondered where he had snuck off to the night before but then put it out of his mind. He had bigger concerns then whatever little escapade Merlin was getting up to at night.

"Ah," said Gaius, as he entered. "I thought you'd run off. Sit down and eat."

Deciding it was better to leave full, Arthur had sat and Merlin had handed him a bowl of…something. He wasn't sure what it was supposed to be from looking at it and was even less certain once he had tasted it.

"Err..it's…" he coughed, "Very…er…"

He must have made a face because Merlin laughed and nodded. "But you get used to Gaius's cooking," he added, "Eventually…I hope."

"I'm not sure if getting used to it would be a good thing, or really really scary," said Arthur.

"Now no one is forcing either of you to eat anything," said Gaius. "Maybe I'll let you try making breakfast yourself tomorrow Merlin?"

"It couldn't be much worse," Arthur said.

Merlin snorted.

"Well now," said Gaius, as Merlin hastily volunteered to get rid of the leftovers as soon as Gaius had finished eating. "About you." He turned to look at Arthur. "What are we going to do with you?"

"Nothing," said Arthur standing up. And for the first time Gaius noticed the sword. His eyebrows rose. "I'm leaving Camelot for the time being."

"For how long?"

"I don't know. What I have to do may take a while. I have to…" he nearly confided in Gaius. But remembering his disbelief of the day before, he decided against it. "…find someone. I think they might be able me to help me."

"I see."

There had always been times when Arthur had wondered what went inside the old physician's head. But never more then now.

"Is there anything we can do to help you?" asked Merlin, who seemed to have warmed up somewhat to Arthur over their shared dislike of Gaius's cooking. Perhaps he figured anyone who didn't like Gaius's food couldn't be all mad.

"No, I don't think so. Not at the moment. But thank you." He realized he was feeling touched by Merlin's offer. Merlin would have helped him before, instantly, and had in fact helped on many occasions, but he had always been his manservant. It was his job. Even when Merlin went above and beyond his duty, even during that awful moment when that sorceress had tricked Arthur with the image of his mother and he had almost killed his own father…even then when Merlin had saved him from a mistake he would have regretted his whole life, Merlin knew he was a prince and knew his father was the king. There were so many aspects involved; maybe none of them had occurred to Merlin, but they were there, and Arthur knew them. But here Merlin was offering help, for no reason, other than to offer help. And as Arthur road out of Camelot a short time later, he realized how much that really meant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like my writing and feel up to trying an original work, you can check out my online web serial Holly(Woods), which is a cross between mystery, romance and soap opera. You can check the first chapter out [here.](https://hollywoodserial.wordpress.com/2013/01/25/1-the-audition/)


	7. Chapter 7

Arthur wrapped his horse's reigns around the post and walked into the tavern. He ordered a tankard of beer from the owner and then sat down in the corner of the room.

It'd been three weeks since he had left Camelot. For several days, at every village he would come to, he would stop and ask after King Uther and his family. He was given the same response every time. The only family was his ward the Lady Morgana. Arthur had kept asking, hoping that eventually the farther away from Camelot he got, the spell's influence would have to stop and his concern only increased each time he was proven otherwise.

He had started reaching out to contact the druids. In some ways it was easier than it would have been three weeks ago, without the suspicion the Prince asking after the druids would normally have caused. While people were hesitant at first to confide in a stranger, Arthur was able to put the diplomatic skills he had learned from his father to good use to get them talking.

He had finally been promised a guide who would lead him to the druids. He had been sent here to the tavern to meet him.

But he had heard a lot of other things too. Things he almost wished he could have forgotten. He had heard how many of Uther's anti-magic laws were abused by those putting them into practice. He had heard many people's views on the laws to begin with. He had heard much more dissention then he had thought there had been. A picture had begun to be painted of his father that he was not entirely sure he could deny. He had always known his father was firm and sometimes hard, but he had always thought him fair. But seeing him through the villagers' eyes…he began to wonder.

He took a drink of his beer and ran a hand over his eyes. His coin was running out. His horse had thrown a shoe. He was tired. And he was more than ready to be remembered already.

The tavern door opened and a man came in. He surveyed the room and then spotting Arthur began to approach him. Arthur sat up straighter. It took a moment to place the face in these unfamiliar surroundings, but Arthur recognized this man. And he was approaching him; he was sitting down in front of Arthur, opening his mouth, preparing to speak. For a moment Arthur felt his hopes rise at the idea that just maybe this man recognized him too.

"You're the man who wants the guide…into the forest?" asked the man, carefully phrasing his question.

Arthur felt his hope sink. "Yes…you don't know me do you?"

"No," said the man, frowning. "Should I?"

"Well there's a question with a very complicated answer," sighed Arthur. He frowned. "Wait. You're the one going to lead me to the dr-" The man shot him a warning look, and Arthur quickly corrected himself. "Into the forest?"

"Yes. I am."

"How do you…know the forest?"

"I…am friends with some people who live in them. We should get going if we want to reach the particular area of the woods you're interested in before dark. My name is Lancelot by the way." He held out his hand.

Arthur took and shook it. "Arthur, I'm Arthur."

* * *

 

As Arthur followed Lancelot deep into the forest he couldn't keep the questions from rushing through his head, all wondering how Lancelot had ended up as a friend of the Druids. Had he always been? Was he himself a druid? Perhaps the griffin had been of his own making, summoned as a way to gain Arthur's favor with its defeat? But then after defeating it, Lancelot had not stayed around to reap the rewards. He had left Camelot to prove himself worthy of knighthood, but how had that led to this? He wanted to ask Lancelot these questions, but with Lancelot clearly not remembering him it would have been difficult and besides, when being taking to druids did not seem a good time to start claiming an acquaintance with Uther.

Lancelot was friendly during the walk. He seemed to be on his guard, and Arthur was sure he was taking him on a more round about root then was necessary (to extremely effective results, Arthur could not have found his way again had his life depended on it) but Lancelot passed a few pleasantries and joked occasionally as they walked along.

It was coming on evening when they reached the encampment. The first sounds Arthur heard were children playing. Then the trees gave way a little and they stepped into a clearing. There were probably about fifty people there, including women and children. Tents were set up and fires were crackling with several pots of food sizzling over them. Lancelot weaved through the groups, leading Arthur to the back of the clearing and up a small embankment. On top of the embankment sat a druid Arthur was surprised to recognize. It was the same man he had handed Mordred to.

"This is Iseldir," said Lancelot, making the introductions. "This is Arthur, the man who has been asking about the druids."

Iseldir gestured for Arthur to take a seat. Lancelot discreetly took up a position nearby. Clearly he did not all together trust Arthur and was prepared to defend Iseldir should the need arise.

"It is good to know you," said Iseldir, smiling. "I hope we can help you. The man who told us about you said you claimed to be in grave need of assistance."

"Yes," said Arthur. "I am."

"What is your problem?"

"I think I'm under a spell. Or else everyone else is," said Arthur. Finally being able to express his fear out loud gave him a sense of relief and he felt emboldened to continue. "You won't believe this, no one else does, but I know you. We've met before. I've met *him* before." He waved at Lancelot. Lancelot opened his mouth to protest but Arthur continued. "I know, I know, as far you're concerned you've never seen me before and don't remember me. Probably think I'm crazy. But I'm not. I know I'm not! Some things are different for instance Morga-" Arthur hesitated. These were still druids and Iseldir would not remember his claim of indebtedness to him for saving Mordred. Convincing him he was Arthur Pendragon might be even more fatal then failing to convince his father of it. "My own father doesn't remember me. But at the same time, the same day I woke up to this nightmare, I woke up in my own room, with my own things still there. I do exist, but no one remembers! I can't prove it! I've tried and all it does it cause people to start backing away from me slowly, but I swear this is true!"

Iseldir frowned thoughtfully. "That is curious. Tell me, people have absolutely no memory of you, from anytime in your life?"

"No…" said Arthur, "As far as they know I was never even born."

"Even your birth is forgotten?"

"Yes…well actually," said Arthur, a thought dawning, "It's very strange. I never thought about it before now but…they remember my mother having a child, but that it died at birth along with her. She did die having me. But there was no child that died with her."

Iseldir sat thinking for several long minutes. At last he rose to his feet. "I must ask you to wait here a short time. I believe I have an answer to what is happening to you, but first I wish to consult with some others to be sure."

Lancelot stayed behind as Iseldir walked away, he watched Arthur curiously. He cleared his throat.

"So…where exactly are we supposed to have met?"

Arthur sighed. "Camelot."

"I have been there," conceded Lancelot. "How do you believe we met?"

Arthur hesitated. This was a difficult question to answer without claiming to be a closer to the king then he wanted to admit out here in a wood full of druids. "Merlin introduced us."

"You know Merlin?" asked Lancelot, smiling.

"Yes. Not that he knows me anymore. What I don't understand is how you ended up here?" Arthur asked, letting the question that had been nagging him burst out. "You set out to prove yourself a worthy knight of Camelot. How did you end up here? With the druids?"

Lancelot frowned. "It's strange to hear you talk…I didn't leave Camelot because…I came to Camelot hoping somehow, in some dream, to become a knight. I have worked for nothing else my entire life. But there was no way. Merlin tried to help but there was nothing he could do."

"Which is when you lied about being noble?"

"What?" asked Lancelot, surprised. "No. I stayed in Camelot for a while. There was really nothing to be done. I stayed though. Merlin was a good friend and Guinevere of course...but I don't know what I would eventually have done but circumstances compelled me…" Arthur noticed his gaze drift off. He turned and looked in the direction Lancelot was look and his eyes landed on Mordred. Shock ran through him.

"Mordred?" asked Arthur, looking back at Lancelot, "What did he have to do with it?"

Lancelot looked equally startled. "You know the boy's name?"

"Yes. He gave it to me when I rescued him from the castle and helped him to escape Camelot." Frustration at the circumstances were leading Arthur to be more honest than a voice in the back of his head was telling him was prudent.

"You?" Lancelot raised an eyebrow. "I…Morgana and I took him out of the castle…one of the guards saw my face I was forced to leave Camelot with Mordred…the druid are good people and have offered me friendship since then. I've helped them a few times when I can…I'm very confused." He sunk down and took a seat on a tree stump. "I'd say you were completely mad but you know Mordred's name. I don't understand."

"Maybe," replied Iseldir, and both men gave a start. "I can help explain things." He took a seat between Arthur and Lancelot. He looked at Arthur and Arthur could have sworn he saw concern in his eyes. When he spoke his voice was gentle. "I'm afraid though, what I am about to tell you, is likely to give you more questions than answers."

"What do you know?" asked Arthur insistently.

"We're dealing with very dark magic. The spell that would do as you described…there is only one such that I know of. It wipes a man from every mind as if he were never there, rewrites the memories with what would have been. It is the same world you know and lived in but without you in it."

Arthur thought a long moment. "You mean because for instance, with what really happened, Mordred was saved, so now he is still saved, but by Lancelot?"

"Yes. Without you saving him, Lancelot did."

"And," mused Arthur, thinking hard, "Without me there for Merlin to come to, Lancelot wasn't able to try out for the knighthood, so he never lied about being a noble, and was never found out and so didn't have to leave Camelot….which allowed him to still be there later when Mordred was caught."

Iseldir gave Arthur a strange look but Arthur was too distracted to notice, instead by this point he had gotten to his feet and begun to pace.

"And similarly," continued Arthur, "Without me, Morgana is all my father has, but as his heir she's probably seen another side of him…which is why when I saw them together, they seemed more content with each other. And," he continued, remembering something he had heard Gwen say while explaining why she had lied to Uther, "With Morgana closer to *him*, when Gwen's father was arrested…I always suspected it was Morgana who gave him the key…she didn't help him so he couldn't try an escape. His trial went through. And I'm sure if I went back to Camelot and asked I would be told he was executed. It is the world I know," he said, stopping to look Iseldir. "But as you say, without me in it."

Iseldir nodded.

"What?" Arthur looked at him; there was clearly something more the man had to say.

"Well you see," the druid said slowly. "This is very dark magic and only a very powerful sorcerer could have cast it. But you must understand this: it could not be cast on everyone. To wipe a man from history with magic…it could only be cast on one whose life was created with magic. From birth, or at any point in his life, if he were brought back from death."

"Created with magic?"

"Yes. A very dark deed, some of the blackest of magic. For life must be taken to create life. It the way it always is."

Arthur saw her in his mind's eye. The image of his mother. So beautiful, so sad. Seeing what he had yearned for a sight of since he first understood what a mother was. And in his mind he could hear her voice. Convicting his father of an act so heinous Arthur had nearly killed him for it.

It was true. It was all true. Merlin had been wrong. It hadn't been a lie at all. Morgause had spoken true.


	8. Chapter 8

Arthur sunk down onto his knees. He remembered how he had first felt when he had been told about his mother, he remembered the sheer rage that had nearly driven him to murder Uther. He could feel that rage now, but here was also a hopelessness and an emptiness inside. His life had cost his mother hers.

He wasn't sure how long he knelt there staring unseeingly at the ground, but Lancelot and Iseldir did not try and interrupt his thoughts. They waited until he was ready to speak.

Arthur felt the wave of emotions threaten to overwhelm him and he pushed them back. He could decide later what he would do about this, and he could decide if he would finish what Merlin had prevented him from doing last time. He looked up at Iseldir.

"How do I break the spell?"

Iseldir shook his head. "This is dark magic, blood magic. Only the blood of the sorcerer who conjured the spell will break it."

"How?"

"His blood, or hers," amended Iseldir, "Must mix with yours, for when the spell was cast, the magic which gave you life was absorbed by the sorcerer. And he must be slain. Their life sacrificed to restore yours."

Arthur took a deep steadying breath. "And how do I find them?"

"That," said Iseldir sadly, "I cannot help you with. I do not know how to find them. He or she could be anywhere. It will be someone very powerful in the ways of magic and the only person alive, other than yourself, who remembers your life. But how to trace them…" he shrugged his shoulders helplessly.

"But they have to hope to accomplish something from all this," pointed out Lancelot. "They had to have gained something from whipping out Arthur's memory. How many people could have?"

"I suspect," said Iseldir, looking contemplatively at Arthur. "Our friend here was in a position of power in Camelot. If his absence is making the changes he has said."

Arthur winced as he realized he had been a little too unguarded when he had spoken earlier, but he began to mull over Lancelot's point. Who could gain from his absence? The answer was simple; any enemy of Camelot. Even as Uther's ward and adopted heir, Morgana was still not of Pendragon blood and her claim to the throne would be questioned after Uther's death.

From the point of view of magic-users, his absence would do worse than nothing, for if anything it would increase Uther's hatred of magic as he would have paid the price of his wife's life without receiving the reward of a son.

But hate was a powerful motivator. This would end the Pendragon line. Weaken Camelot. Morgana was strong, she might be able to maintain the throne and begin her own line…but she was also kinder towards magic than Uther. She was more open to it. She hid this from Uther, but during her fight to save Mordred she had said enough to convince Arthur she was not in line with his father on magic. Was someone counting on that when they had changed the world to make her Uther's heir?

"But," he asked Iseldir, "A wizard powerful enough to cast this spell…you must have some idea of some of the people capable of it?"

"I am afraid not. King Uther's vendetta against magic has caused many of our kind to live in complete secret, even from each other."

"So what am I to do?"

Iseldir thought. "I cannot tell you the best course of action. Either the sorcerer has already accomplished his mission with your removal from memory, in which case I do not see how you would find him. They could be anywhere and you could find no more effective method than randomly seeking out sorcerers, wizards and druids hoping to discover the right one, and even if you did find him you would have no way of knowing if he had been the one who cast the spell. But perhaps he has further goals. In which case, they most likely center around your old life. If so your best course would be to place yourself as near to it as you can and you may be able to recognize him for who he is when you see him. But you must choose how you wish to live your life, if you are willing to live what could be the rest of your years with nothing more than a hope of restoring what was lost."


	9. Chapter 9

Gwen threw the blanket off herself and got out of bed. Thunder rolled overhead and the rain poured down on the roof in buckets. She pulled a basket out from a corner and set it on top of the table to catch the rain dripping through the leak in the ceiling. Shivering in the cold she hurried back into bed and pulled the cover up over her shoulders just as she heard a knock on her front door.

She frowned and sat up. It had to be past midnight. Who would be coming by at this hour and in this weather?

The knock sounded again. Concern forced Gwen out of bed and towards the door.

Griping a thick stick in one hand, which she always kept propped against the wall just in case, she opened the door.

A man stood on the door step. He was soaking wet and leaning heavily against the wall of the house as if he was having difficulty standing.

She could just barely make out his face from the firelight shining from the hearth behind her. She dimly recognized him and had to search through her memory for a name.

"Arthur?" she asked tentatively.

"I'm sorry to bother you," he said. His voice sounded weak and tired. "I have to come somewhere and you…you always…you don't remember but you were always…you are the person I have trusted the most in my entire life…I didn't know where else to go…"

On impulse Gwen stepped aside. "You have to come in out of the rain."

Slowly Arthur entered. Crouching to avoid hitting the door frame, he seemed to have trouble straightening again and he sunk instantly into a chair next to the table. He looked awful.

"What happened to you?" asked Gwen, concerned. He was shivering violently.

"My horse broke its leg several days ago and I ran out of money a week back so I couldn't buy a new one and…I've been walking and all the food was go-…well and then it started raining yesterday and I…just need to rest for a little while and then I'll…"

Gwen came forward and felt his forehead.

"You're very hot."

"I feel freezing."

"Wait a moment." Gwen hurried over to the bed and started pushing it.

"What are you doing?"

"Pushing the bed closer to the fire. There, get in."

"What?"

"Get in. And take off your shirt."

"My shirt?"

"Yes," said Gwen, coming towards him. "You need to get warm. Your clothes are soaking wet. You're sick. You're freezing. And you're exhausted. Now you're going to listen to me and get into bed."

Whether he was listening to her because she was right or because he was too tired to argue Gwen didn't know but using the table to push himself up, Arthur got to his feet. His hands shaking, he pulled his shirt off and dropped it onto the floor. He took a step away from the table and staggered; Gwen reached out and grabbed his arm.

"I'll help you." Supporting a portion of his weight she was able to get him to the bed and he lay down in it. She pulled up the cover over him. "There. Try and sleep, I'll be right back." She pulled her cloak off the hook by the front door and tied it around herself, pulling up the hood. She was just reaching for the door handle when she heard Arthur ask,

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to get Gaius."

"You can't go out in that," he protested, but his eyes were already falling closed.

"You need a doctor. Just sleep a little. I won't be gone long."

He was already asleep when she shut the door behind her.

* * *

The rain beat down on the trees, making a pleasant noise. Large puddles were rapidly forming and miniature brooks began to form in the washes.

In the small clearing the rain seemed to be falling only to tree level and then running off into the woods as if they were meeting an invisible barrier covering the clearing.

In the center of clearing, sitting cross-legged on the dry grass, Merlin was looking up as he watched the rain run-off the invisible ceiling and he was grinning.

"You have got to teach me that spell."

Morgause, seated on the grass beside him, smiled. "I'd be happy to."

"How long can it last for?"

"Hours if the caster is strong. It will keep out anything. Rain, sleet, hail, animals, men. I can also teach you how to dispel it if you like."

"Really? That'd be brilliant." He smiled at her briefly and then looked back up at the rain.

After letting the silence last for a few minutes Morgause repositioned herself so she was sitting more directly in front of Merlin. "Have you thought about what I said?"

He looked back at her and his smile faulted somewhat. "I…well, I know what you said I just…look, I've loved this. I really have. Having someone to talk to about magic, someone to try out spells with and to learn and to study with, I…it's been brilliant. Just having another wizard to talk to is…I've felt so much less alone since I've met you but…" he shrugged. "The things you're talking about…I know how you feel about wanting things to change. But there's nothing we can do."

"Yes there is Merlin," said Morgause leaning forward eagerly. "We could change things."

"We can't. As long as Uther is king things aren't going to change."

"Exactly."

"What do you mean?"

"We can change everything."

Merlin shook his head and stood up. "Look maybe someday, this great future and era you talk about, maybe someday we can help to bring it about, but not today, not now."

"Merlin," said Morgause exasperation leaking into her voice but he cut her off.

"Look, I've got to go."

"But-"

"I'll see you in a few nights." Merlin hurried off.

Morgause let out a sigh of annoyance and rose to her feet. Emrys was coming along awfully slowly…but she reminded herself, there was time. She looked up at the rain.

* * *

Merlin was soaking through and freezing by the time he was back inside Camelot. He hurried through the streets and towards home. He hoped the rain hadn't woken Gaius. Since he had first met Morgause he had suspected there was something about her that Gaius wouldn't like. This feeling had only increased when she had suggested it might be best if he kept their meetings just between the two of them. He had somehow felt she was referring to Gaius in particular but he had been afraid to ask. If he did, she might tell him. And he liked talking to her. Having someone to share magic with had felt freeing after a lifetime of hiding.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts and the rain was coming down in such thick sheets, that he was just a few feet away from his front door when he realized there was a cloaked figure standing in front of it, wrapping furiously.

The door opened and Gaius looked out, he could hear voices but not make out what they were saying. He was just looking around desperately for a place to hide when Gaius looked up and saw him. He gestured. Grimacing to himself Merlin came closer. He didn't know how he was going to explain to Gaius where he'd been.

As he reached the door he realized the other person was Gwen.

"Gwen, what's wrong?"

"It's that man. The one from a month ago, Arthur. He's at my house and I think he's sick."

"We'll be right there," Gaius said, his voice taking the note of authority it would take when he was discussing medical matters. "Merlin, I need you to help me gather my things. Gwen, get back and we'll meet you there. Starting heating some water, if he's been out in this rain it'll do him no harm to have something warm to drink."

Gwen nodded and was off like a shot.


	10. Chapter 10

Gaius helped prop Arthur up, so he was sitting in bed. The poor man was clearly struggling to remain awake and Gaius frowned in sympathy.

"Just keep your eyes open a little longer and then you can sleep as long as you like," he said kindly. "You're freezing. Here, Merlin hand me the blanket. I'll wrap this around you…Gwen, is making some hot soup. You have to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"When was the last time you ate anything?"

"It was…I can't think. The days aren't making much sense in my head."

"That's alright," said Gaius kindly. "But you need to eat something, I suspect it's been several days since you had anything substantial and you need something warm after being in the rain." He stepped away from the bed and looked over at Merlin. "Guinevere, you had better make some for Merlin as well. We don't want two men catching cold."

"Really I'm fine," protested Merlin sheepishly, but Gaius' long look prevented further protest.

"Do you think he'll be alright?" asked Gwen a little later, nodding towards Arthur as she ladled the soup into two bowls.

"I think so. I'm going to give him something for the fever and as long as he stays warm and fights off the chill, has regular meals to regain his strength and stays out of the rain, he should be alright."

"He can stay here as long as he needs to," offered Gwen.

"That's very good of you. It will be better for him not to move, but we could offer him a bed with us if you'd prefer."

"No. He can stay here."

"Good." Gaius picked up one of the bowls of soup and handed it to Merlin and then taking the other he approached Arthur. Sitting down on the bed he gently shook him awake.

* * *

"You really think he'll be fine?" asked Merlin, as he and Gaius entered their home an hour later.

"Yes, I should think so."

Merlin gave a large yawn. "Good." He saw Gaius open his mouth to say something and burst out with, "Well, I'm off to bed." He tried to beat a hasty retreat to the stairs but Gaius stopped him before he was halfway there.

"Merlin. Where were you tonight?"

Guilty Merlin turned back to look at him. "What?"

"Where were you tonight Merlin?"

"Over at Gwen's with you?" offered Merlin innocently.

"Merlin," said Gaius gravely, "I mean before that. Where did you go?"

"I…can't tell you."

Gaius raised an eyebrow.

"Look I wasn't doing anything wrong I was just…somewhere."

Gaius sighed. "I can't insist that you tell me Merlin, I only hope whatever it is, you know what you're doing."

"I do. Absolutely." Merlin wished he felt as sure as he sounded.

"Alright. Well we'd better get to bed, it's late. Sleep well Merlin."

"You too." And Merlin hurried up the stairs to his room.

* * *

Arthur slept through most of the next day. In the evening Gaius came by the check on him and all but force feed him another bowl of soup. His fever had subsided and the shivering stopped but Gaius advised he should stay in bed until he had regained his strength. He felt back asleep immediately Gaius was gone.

The sun light was streaming in the next day when he woke up. He opened his eyes and blinked in the light pouring in from one of the open windows. A chair had been placed near the bed and Gwen had left a loaf of bread, a bucket of water and an empty cup on it.

Propping himself up in bed he picked up the loaf and tore a piece off. He suddenly found himself feeling ravenous. He ate the bread in large gulps and then took several cup-fulls of water from the bucket.

He grabbed his shirt from where Gwen had set it dry by the fire and he pulled it on. He was just pushing aside the blanket and swinging his legs onto the floor when the front door opened and Gwen came in.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Getting up."

"Gaius said you're to stay in bed at least a couple more days."

"Gwen I'm fine." He tried to stand up but his legs gave out from under him and found himself back on the bed.

"You're still weak." Gwen crossed over to him. "Your fever is gone but you're still suffering the after effects. You need to lie down."

Arthur considered arguing but found he didn't have the energy to do it. He lay back down on the pillow.

"Can I get you anything?" asked Gwen, once she was sure he wasn't going to try to get up again.

"I'm fine."

"You keep saying that, even when you're not."

Arthur opened his mouth to say something and then hesitated.

"What is it?" she asked, moving the bucket of water down onto the floor and sitting on the now vacant chair.

"Nothing. I'm-"

"Arthur. You are not fine. Something is wrong. I can tell."

"How can you tell? You don't even know me?" he asked, and he couldn't help sounding a little bitter.

"You look so sad," said Gwen softening.

Arthur was silently for a long moment, looking towards the fire. An urge to confide in Gwen was surging through him. He remembered what they shared when he'd stayed with her in secret during the tournament. He also remembered walking through the down pouring rain. He had been subconsciously aware that he wasn't behaving rationally, that he should try and find cover, but he hadn't been able to concentrate on the more logical voices in his head. He supposed now it had been due to the fever. All he could think about was getting to Camelot, and, yes, getting to Gwen. She had on several occasions guided him and he was repeatedly impressed with her wisdom and clear-sightedness. And out there in the rain and night, as he felt the strength sap out of him and everything felt confused and muddled, the only thing he could think to do was to reach her.

"I've never felt so lost," he said quietly. "I've always…known where my life was headed. I always knew what I would be, who I would be. My life was planned from the moment I was born. But now...I can't see any way to go. And I'm alone."

"You're not alone," said Gwen. "Gaius, Merlin, me. We're all happy to try and help you."

"Why?" Arthur turned to look at her.

"Why? Because you need help. That's what people are supposed to do. Help those in need."

"But I'm a stranger. A stranger with absolutely nothing to offer."

"We don't expect you to offer anything. And you'll find your way Arthur. Everyone has a destiny and everyone loses sight of it sometimes. But you'll find what yours is supposed to be."

Arthur looked back towards the fire.

"Arthur," said Gwen slowly, "Isn't there anyone…you must have some family somewhere? Or friends? We could try and get word to them?"

Arthur thought for a minute how to respond. "I don't have anymore. Not anymore."

"I'm sorry," said Gwen, laying her hand gently on his shoulder. "I lost my father last year. It's very hard to lose your family. Did you lose them recently?"

"Fairly."

"I see. Maybe that's why you…" She trailed off.

"Why I what?" he asked curiously.

"Well," she said a little nervously. "Why you imagined all that last month…about the King and such."

"Oh...maybe." He smiled at her. Neither spoke again for some time.


	11. Chapter 11

"Merlin!" Gwen moved away from the market stall she had been examining and waved the man over. He smiled and approached her.

"Hello!" He greeted her. "What are you doing?"

"Buying some food. Arthur is finally feeling well enough to have something a bit more substantial, and as Gaius said he could start getting up today as long as he takes it slowly, I promised to make him some roast chicken as long as he *does* take it slowly."

"Oh, well that's thoughtful of you," said Merlin, looking innocent.

Gwen frowned at him. "What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing. Just that you were being thoughtful of Arthur."

"He's been sick."

"Yes, it's nice of you."

"Uh-huh," said Gwen skeptically. "And where are you off to?"

Merlin gestured to the small basket that was under his arm. "Gaius is having me deliver some medicine."

"How have you been?" asked Gwen. "I've seen so little of you lately."

"I'm alright." Merlin shrugged.

"What's wrong?" Gwen asked, sensing something was wrong.

"Oh nothing really." Merlin looked down at his feet.

"What?" she persisted.

"I don't know I just feel...lost I suppose. Like I'm completely lost as to what I'm supposed to be doing."

"You feel lost? You know Arthur said something very similar a couple days ago."

"Oh good, well at least I know I'm in good company," Merlin grinned. Gwen slapped him playfully on the arm.

"Well I have to go, but Merlin, I'm going to tell you exactly what I told Arthur, that everyone has a destiny that they lose sight of. But you'll find what yours is. And Gaius and I, we're always here for you."

Merlin smiled. "Thank you Gwen." He gave her a quick hug. "Though I don't know how Arthur would feel about you sharing his pep talk aroung."

"Merlin," said Gwen, crossing her arms.

"Sorry, sorry. So, what is he going to do? Once he gets better I mean? Why did he come back to Camelot?"

"I…don't know. I was actually going to talk to him tonight about those things."

"Well, good luck. I'd better go, Gaius will get impatient." Merlin waved and hurried off.

* * *

The table was being laid for dinner; the bed had been pushed back away from the fire into its original position in the room, and Gwen was laying out the chicken.

"That looks wonderful," said Arthur, seated at one end of the table, as the steam gushed out from the chicken as Gwen cut into it.

"Thank you. Here, taste it," she laid a plate in front of him. "I hope it's good."

"Hmm, that's the best chicken I've ever had."

"Good." Gwen sat down and took her own plate. They ate in silence for several minutes, each hungry, but as they started to fill up Gwen took a moment to broach a suggestion she had been mulling over in her head for the past couple of days. "Arthur, what are you going to do once you're completely well?"

Arthur dropped the piece of chicken he was holding and looked slightly sick at the thought. "I don't know."

"What did you come back to Camelot for?"

"I had nowhere else to go," he said quietly.

"I understand," she nodded. "I thought so. Arthur, you need a place to stay, long term, and you need a living. You said so yourself the first night you got here that you were out of money."

"I-"

"I have an idea. What do you know about blacksmithing?"

Arthur blinked at her. "Blacksmithing?"

"Yes. Do you know anything about it?" she asked hopefully.

"A bit," said Arthur very slowly and very uneasily.

"Good," Gwen leaned forward eagerly. "You see my father was a blacksmith. He was a wonderful one, but Uther executed him last year for assisting sorcery. He didn't mean anything wrong he just…" she sighed and shook her head. "The important thing is I still have his shop. Now I know you can't become a master blacksmith overnight, but if you worked cheap, some of the poor people would come to you. And there's an old cot in there from when father would occasionally work late. You would have both a place to stay and make a small living."

Arthur's mouth was hanging open by the time she was done. "Me?" he asked slowly, "A blacksmith?"

"Yes."

"Gwen…it's a fine idea but when I say I know a bit about blacksmithing I-"

"You must have shoed a horse at one point in your life."

"Hmm," said Arthur noncommittally.

"And you could repair some metal work, pots and pans and some farm tools. And you would learn as you went."

Arthur thought.

Since Iseldir had presented his options to him, he had been desperately struggling to decide what to do. As he had told Gwen, he had had nowhere else to go but Camelot. His first thought had been to find the sorcerer, even if it meant he had to sit and wait, but an awful image had kept presenting itself to him, an image of years spent waiting for someone who would never come. Also Uther had all but thrown him out of the castle. As things stood he could not be near enough his father to ensure he would even see the sorcerer should he happen to show up. And as he waited and watched, what could he do? And if he didn't choose to wait, what could he do? Gwen was right, he needed both a place to stay and at way to live. At least until he had a plan.

He had led men into battle, fought magical beasts and played the diplomat; surely he could learn to blacksmith?


	12. Chapter 12

"What is that supposed to be?" Merlin was seated cross legged on a bench inside the workshop, watching as Arthur worked.

Arthur held the object up, clamped tightly in the tongs and examined it doubtfully. "A horseshoe?"

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"What?"

"It just looks more like it would be about the right size for an elephant," but Merlin added quickly, "Maybe it's just for a horse with very big feet?"

Arthur sighed. "This is pointless." He slammed the shoe down on the anvil and dropped the tongs to the floor. "How anyone ever manages to make anything out of metal I don't know. It's useless."

"You've only been working at it a few weeks," pointed out Merlin consolatory. "You can't expect to be perfect right away."

"Look at this," said Arthur walking across the room and holding something up.

Merlin examined it for a long moment. "What is it?"

"It was supposed to be a cooking pot."

"Ah yes," said Merlin, tilting his sideways. "I can see it. If you move your head this way and squint really hard it definitely resembles something like that."

"Thank you Merlin," said Arthur dryly. "I appreciate it." He sighed and shook his head. "I've never been this tired, and I have nothing to show for it."

"Gwen said you knew something about blacksmithing."

"Well…when she asked…I mean I do know something."

"Like what?"

"That's an anvil? Those are tongs. This is a hammer?"

"Ah."

"This was the only option. I have to make good at this," said Arthur, picking back up the hammer and surveying the horse shoe.

"It's not that bad," said Merlin encouragingly.

"It is that bad. I have a horseshoe that could fit an elephant and I have to shoe that horse outside by this evening."

"But it is around the right shape if a little large," pointed out Merlin, "And I have heard you've been doing good on some repair work. Look you need that horse shoed? I have an idea. I'll go visit the royal stables. I know one of the grooms there. I'll hang around; see if I can't nick a few shoes. They have a whole lot stock piled."

"You can't just steal horseshoes from the royal stables!" said Arthur, horrified.

"Look, it shouldn't be a problem just to swipe a couple. Then I'll come back and help you shoe the horse."

"You know how to shoe a horse?" asked Arthur doubtfully.

"I did grow up in a village Arthur. We had horses."

Before Arthur could protest further Merlin was off like a shot.

Sighing Arthur shook his head and picking up the horseshoe with the tongs and placed it back near the fire. At least he could reuse the metal for repairing the shovel a farmer had brought in yesterday.

His first forays into blacksmithing had certainly been less then inspiring. Repairing pots and pans he was fairly alright at, and as he worked cheap so he got business. But trying to make something from scratch…he looked woefully towards the pot he had been showing Arthur. He had tried to make it for Gwen. It wasn't much but after everything she had done for him he had wanted to present her with the fruits of his labor, labor she had made possible. It had failed utterly.

It had been nearly three weeks since he'd started working. Merlin came by most days. It had taken awhile to get used to it. Merlin had always been much freer then most servants when talking to Arthur but it had always been there, Arthur was the prince. It had proved difficult to remember he wasn't anymore. The first time Merlin had dropped by there'd been some friction. Arthur, already losing his temper as he got increasingly exasperated at the work had been extremely short, cutting Merlin off. Merlin had uttered only one retort. 'Ass'. Arthur had turned on him to yell and then he had just started laughing. Merlin had stared at him somewhat startled. But since then things had been going smoother, though Arthur was still reminding himself he had to make requests and not order Merlin when he wanted help. And Merlin was helping him with learn the work. While Merlin was certainly no blacksmith, he had as he said, grown up in a village. There had been a blacksmith and the children of the village had used to watch him. While Merlin hadn't ever done any blacksmithing himself, he had watched enough of it and remembered enough of what he had seen, that he could make helpful suggestions that were very frequently right. Arthur had slowly begun to think that maybe Merlin was not quite the idiot he had often thought.

There came a knock on the door frame of the workshop and Gwen entered. She was holding a basket which she placed down near the fire.

"I brought you some lunch, I thought you might not have eaten anything."

Arthur quickly stepped to block the view he felt would show Gwen the worst examples of his blacksmithing (though he needed a second to decide which view that was) and smiled at her.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. I have to get back to castle. I'll see you later Arthur." She turned to leave and ran into Merlin in the doorway. He seemed to be clutching his side, but he grinned at her.

"Hello Gwen!"

"Hello Merlin, I was just bringing Arthur some lunch. There's probably enough for two."

"Thank you."

Gwen left. As soon as they were alone, Merlin pulled the horse shoes out from under his shirt where he'd been clutching them.

"Ta da! Told you!"

Arthur considered whether he should be angry for a moment and then shrugged. If he ever got his life back he would improve security at the stables, until then there wasn't really anything wrong with using them, he reasoned, after all, he was the prince even if no one else knew it.

"Thanks."

"That's was awfully nice of Gwen," said Merlin, laying down the horseshoes.

"What?"

"Bringing you some lunch." He looked at Arthur out of the corner of his eye and continued in an innocent tone, "She's been awfully nice to you."

"Yes," said Arthur not quite catching on.

"I mean, she took care of you while you were sick, and now she's given you this place to stay…"

"What you're point Merlin?" asked Arthur finally noticing something in the man's tone.

"Nothing. Just that I see you two together a lot…you're both always talking and smiling and…"

"Merlin." Arthur frowned at him.

"What?"

"No."

"Why not? She likes you, I can tell. And you like her, you always watch her whenever she's around. You seem to find everything she does, even if it's just darning a sock, really really interesting to watch."

"It's not like that," Arthur picked up the hammer and used it to gesture towards the horseshoes, "Can we shoe the horse now?"

"What do you mean, it's not like that? You don't like her?"

"Of course I like her Merlin, she's a very compassionate and caring woman. But…"

"But what?"

Arthur sighed in exasperation. "Even if I thought about her in that way, which I'm not saying I do, we could never pursue a relationship. There are too many…we're not of the same spheres of life and there are too many responsibilities and duties to prevent it."

"As I see it, you're a blacksmith, she's a blacksmith's daughter, can't get a much better match then that," said Merlin. "Sorry, you're a 'blacksmith'." Grinning he made quotation marks in the air.

Arthur sighed. He found this conversation oddly unsettling, and felt for some reason he could not understand as if he were on the verge of danger. "Please Merlin, could we just shoe the horse?"


	13. Chapter 13

"Just put them there." Gwen pointed to the corner near her fireplace and Arthur carefully laid the split logs down in it. "Thank you," said Gwen, smiling up him.

"I wish I could do more. I owe you so much."

"I'm always happy to help you."

"Because that's what people are supposed to do?"

"Maybe," she smiled mischievously at him, turned and walked away to the other side of the room and picking up a cloth began to wipe down her table.

Arthur watched the back of her. It crossed his mind that he had seen a hundred ladies, daughters of kings, nobles and knights, each of them trained since birth to walk the right way and talk the right way and each dressed in clothes that cost more than this house five times over. But none of them had the grace of Gwen.

Unbidden he heard Merlin's voice from yesterday in his head saying, 'You like her, you always watch her whenever she's around. You seem to find everything she does…really really interesting.'

He coughed uncomfortable and sifted. Gwen looked behind her. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I should probably…I should go. It's late."

"I thought you'd stay for dinner."

"I can't keep eating your food."

"I don't mind, I like the company," said Gwen, moving back towards him. "Since my father died it's…well it's nice to have someone to eat with."

"It's not…" Right? Fair? Wise?

He remembered the time he had spent with Gwen while competing in the tournament. Since then he had tried to keep those memories at bay. He had been frightened of where those feelings that had begun to grow, would lead him. 'I'm afraid my father would never understand', that had been what he had said to her afterwards. That had been the understatement of the decade. On the occasional nights when he had failed and memories of those days had come back, he saw them leading nowhere but to years of heartache and hurt for all involved, himself, Uther and Gwen; Gwen on whom Uther would be likely to turn the brunt of his anger. And so he had denied them, even to himself.

He also remembered when she had finally had enough and told him exactly what she thought of him and the fiasco with making her dinner. He couldn't help but smile.

Gwen saw the smile and took it as agreement to stay. "Good. Now here, if you don't want to intrude, you can help."

"Help you cook?"

"Yes."

Arthur laughed. Well things had changed since that tournament. Maybe he could cook…with Gwen's help.

An idea flickered through him brain. It wasn't fully formed and he want to allow to form into words. But a feeling crept over him. So much had changed; he might never be Prince Arthur Pendragon of Camelot again. Before when that prospect had been presented to him he had felt terrified and alone. What life could he have, if not his own? He was still not yet ready to give up the hope of that one day he might regain his life…but he began to realize that maybe, even if he couldn't, there was another life waiting for him. One that wouldn't be so bad.

Gwen gave him some potatoes and a knife, and laughed as he tried to skin them. She took his hand and guided the knife along, showing him the best way to take off the peel in the fewest slices and then she set him to cutting the potatoes into quarters.

She was bending over the fire, stirring the pot when he finished and waved at him to bring them over.

Standing next to her, over the warming flames, he dropped the potatoes into the pot and looked over at her. The firelight illuminated her eyes and cast a glow across her hair. He felt he had never seen her look so beautiful. She looked up at him. Her smile faded, her expression became unreadable.

Arthur bent towards her and then he hesitated. Was it fair, when who knew? Tomorrow, the day after, next week, next month, he could be remembered, the sorcerer could arrive in Camelot. Would it be fair to pursue anything with Gwen on what amounted to false pretenses, when he might have to give it all up tomorrow?

He was on the verge of stepping away from her, when Gwen closed the rest of the distance and kissed him.


	14. Chapter 14

Arthur sat in the blacksmith shop. He had lit a small fire and was bent over it watching it flicker. His felt confused and exhausted and overwhelmed, but also incredibly happy. Every time he tried to force himself to think over last night seriously he'd just start grinning like an idiot again.

"Arthur?"

He jumped to his feet and turned to the doorway. Gwen was standing there, looking nervous

"Gwen, hello."

"Can I come in for a moment?"

"Of course, sit down."

"No thank you." She came closer to him. "I have to go to Morgana soon but I just wanted to see you first. Last night…"

"Yes?"

She was going to call it a mistake, the thought flashed through his head, she was going to say she didn't want to see him again, she was-

"Really wonderful. I know I've only really known you a few weeks. But I have feelings for you. And I don't know what you think or feel but I just wanted you to know…last night I felt, you were holding back. After the kiss…you were very quiet and I just…I don't know how to say this." She sighed and shook her head. "It's just I understand. If you don't feel the same way, and that's fine. I value you as a friend too. And you will always have my friendship so-"

"Gwen," interrupted Arthur. "Don't." He took her hand. "I loved kissing you last night."

"Well technically I kissed you." She smiled up at him.

"Alright, I loved being kissed by you last night. There's a lot happening for me now. A lot of things I don't understand and I have to figure out. I would love to be with you. But at the same time when I think about the future-"

"Why do we have to?" asked Gwen shrugging. "I mean you're talking about the future but we don't even know what we want in the present? Can't we deal with the problems when they come without making them now? Can't we just…see if we make sense before we worry about the rest?"

Arthur stared at her. Why not? He could see if he could live life as Arthur the Blacksmith, he could see if he could live a life with Guinevere. He could discover what he was capable of; if he was capable of this. And if at some point he did reclaim his identity? Well…who knew how things would be when he was King. Besides, every day he was growing more doubtful that he ever would.

Maybe he had remained silent to long, and the silence and seemed like a refusal for before he could respond Gwen had turned and hurried out.

* * *

"So," Merlin plopped down on the bench, and grinned at Arthur. Arthur picked up the tongs and taking a sheet a metal out of the fire, carried it over to the anvil. "I hear you and Gwen finally kissed."

"Merlin," said Arthur exasperated, "Have you ever heard about minding your own business?"

"Nah, can't say that I have. So, how it'd happen?"

"How do you even know it did happen?"

"Gwen told me."

"Well then you can go ask her how it happened," said Arthur exasperated.

"But where would the fun in that be? I knew you liked her," he added.

"Alright, you're very smart." Arthur rolled his eyes, "Now it's private."

"Oh come on."

"Merlin I'm not talking about my personal life with you, so that's enough, you *will* stop talking about it!"

"Oh I will, will I?" Merlin quirked his eyebrows and grinned. "I'm not your servant you know, and I rather think I want to keep talking about it."

Arthur sighed and shook his head. "If you're so keen to talk about romance, why don't we talk about you? I'm sure there's some lucky girl just waiting to take you away, *far* away. I'm thinking into another country."

"Alright," laughed Merlin good naturedly, getting to his feet. "Be that way. But if it was me and I had a girl like Gwen interested, I'd want to talk about nothing else."

"Yes well some of us are physically capable of keeping quiet sometimes." Arthur sighed. And shook his head at himself. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that…it's just…I feel…guilty."

"Guilty?"

"Yes," Arthur stepped away from the anvil and walking over to the bench sunk down on it. Merlin came over and sat beside him.

"What's there to feel guilty about?" asked Merlin. "Gwen cares got you and you care for her. You're both happy."

Arthur hesitated as he considered the best way to phrase things without Merlin reverting to the old 'Arthur's crazy' theory. "Have you ever felt," he began slowly, "As if you were living a lie? Or like you were leading two lives and you couldn't let anyone know?"

"Oh you have no idea," sighed Merlin. "And it feels like every time you open your mouth you're deceiving someone?"

"Yes!"

"Look, sometimes you can't tell everyone the truth. For their own good, and yours. I just think that if it's someone who's really your friend, they'd understand."

"You think so?"

"Yes. Because sometimes you have to not tell the truth, and a true friend would understand that you didn't have a choice. And they'd understand that whatever you did, you always tried to do it for the best."

Arthur smiled and placed a hand on Merlin's shoulder. "You know sometimes you're not a complete idiot." He stood up.

"You know you should work on your people skills. Really."

* * *

"What are you thinking about?" Morgana asked, looking at Gwen's reflection in the mirror she was sitting in front of. Gwen was setting her hair.

"Nothing My Lady."

"Really? Nothing? You've been so quiet all day and it's for nothing?"

"It's nothing in particular My Lady. There." Gwen set the final touch to Morgana's hair and stood back. "You're done."

Morgana rose and turned to face Gwen. "Gwen?"

"Yes?"

"Gwen I...I hope if there's ever anything wrong you know you can always come to me. I know since your father died we've been more distant. I'm sorry there wasn't more that I could do when that happened. But I hope you know how much I care for you." She hugged her. "I won't need you again tonight, you can go home." Morgana examined herself quickly in the mirror one more time and then left the room to meet Uther for dinner.

Gwen put away a few things, turned down the bed for when Morgana returned and then left the castle, walking fast as a cold wind blew up around her.

When she reached her house she saw the lights shining in the windows and smoke coming out of the chimney. Curious, she entered.

A fire was burning in the fire place, casting a warm and comfortable glow about the room. Arthur was standing next to it. He was holding flowers.

"Guinevere," he began as soon as he saw her. "I thought I would make you dinner. But that would have been a complete disaster, so I thought maybe, we could make it together again like last night because I really liked that and you. Look I'm not saying this right but…I care about you too. I know I can be, well as Merlin puts it a 'prat' sometimes, but I want to see what my life could be like, if it had you in it."

Gwen smiled.

"Oh," Arthur held up the flowers. "And these are for you."


	15. Chapter 15

Arthur had always known many of their people were poor. He had always known many of them had to struggle each day just to put food on the table. He also knew that with Gwen always happy to have him spend his meals with her and between her job at the castle and what small amount he made blacksmithing they were never in any danger of starving. He had worked hard as a Prince. He had trained his knights, he had helped his father to administer the law and he had defended Camelot against her enemies. But he was beginning to understand there was a whole new kind of tired that he had never felt before; one that couldn't be rested away in a comfortable bed after a large meal, but you just had to slog through it into the next day where more tired was waiting for you. Arthur had always cared deeply for Camelot and her wellbeing, but living among her people, seeing it from the perspective of one of her subjects, Arthur had a deeper respect for them.

He even began to have a new respect for Merlin, remembering all the jobs he had given him to do while he was still his man servant and his conscience sometimes winced as he remembered the occasions he had called the man lazy.

But at the same time there was something restful about not having so many people look to him, expectantly waiting to see what he would do and say. He did not have to answer to his father; there was nothing he could do to make him proud. He didn't have to lead men and feel the responsibility of having lives in his hands. All he had to do was muddle through blacksmithing and spend any free time with Gwen.

Being able to see Gwen every day, being able to laugh with her, joke with her, being allowed to kiss her…never in his dreams had he imagined how wonderful it would feel or how free he could feel with her. And there was none of the hesitation that had been in both of them that there had been when he was Prince. They had both been aware that as long as his father was King there was very grave danger of heartache. But now, without that, Gwen followed her heart fully. And Arthur found himself doing the same.

As the days slipped by into weeks, Arthur found he stopped keeping an ear open for news from the castle. He stopped asking Gwen if any strangers had visited Uther lately. The hope the sorcerer would appear began to fill him with another feeling, one far more mixed with dread. The idea of losing Gwen hurt him inside in a way he never could have imagined.

It was nearly three months since his return to Camelot. Since his return he hadn't tried to convince anyone more of who he really was. He sometimes caught Gaius looking at him speculatively, the physician clearly still wondered who he was, but Merlin seemed to think it would be rude to bring up Arthur's earlier claims to royalty (Arthur speculated that Gwen had shared with him her theory that it had come about through grief of losing his family). He told himself he wanted to try and convince Gwen of the truth, but deep down he suspected he never tried because he was afraid of what she would do or say if she believed him or if she just thought he was crazy.

* * *

Arthur soaked the hand cloth in the barrel of water and then wiped some of the grime off his forehead. His shoulders ached and he was conscious of being extremely hungry. It had been a long morning, he had been busy in the workshop since early dawn and it was now well past lunch. He picked up a small hand trowel he had repaired for Gaius and decided he'd take a break from work and drop it off.

As he walked out on the streets heading towards the town square, he was conscious that something was wrong. There were few people about and those that were there were in groups, whispering between themselves, glancing around nervously. There also seemed to be something in the air; tension, nerves.

As Arthur entered the town square he found where the people were. They had gathered in a large crowd, but they were largely silent, save for the occasional whisper. Over their heads he could see a large stone block set in front of the castle steps, and city guards standing around it.

He began to have a very bad feeling about things.

"Arthur." Merlin had come up to him while he was watching the guards. Merlin looked tense.

"What's happening?"

"You haven't heard?"

"Heard what Merlin?"

Merlin lowered his voice and explained, "Earlier this morning Edwin Jarl was arrested for practicing magic."

"The baker's younger brother?" asked Arthur, shocked.

"Yes…Uther has ordered his immediate execution. He's to be beheaded."

"Edwin?" Arthur looked horrified towards the city guards. "But he's just a boy. He's only sixteen. He can't have meant any wrong."

"He used magic. As far as Uther is concerned that's enough." Merlin's voice had grown angry and one or two passersby shot a curious look towards him.

Arthur grabbed his wrist and pulled him farther away from the crowd. "Be quiet….they're executing him now?"

"Yes. Uther expedited it."

Arthur opened his mouth to say something when the murmuring in the crowd grabbed his attention and he saw two guards leading Edwin down the castle steps towards the block.

He glanced back at Merlin who looked on the verge surging forward. Suddenly feeling it was very important to get Merlin out of there, he put a hand on the man's shoulder and pushed him towards Gaius' chambers.

* * *

Merlin sat on a bench looking down at his hands as Arthur stood over him trying to focus his attention on the man before him and not on what had just happened outside.

"I should have done something," said Merlin suddenly.

"There was nothing you could do Merlin," Arthur pointed out. Merlin glanced up and gave him a funny look Arthur couldn't quite understand.

"There could have been."

"Merlin, anything you tried to do would have just gotten you arrested. Uther might even have convicted you for attempting to assist sorcery and you could have been executed. Look at me. This isn't your fault. It's Uther's. Uther executed that boy. Not you."

Merlin nodded but Arthur wasn't sure he was listening to him. Sighing Arthur placed the repaired trowel, which he still held clutched in his hand, down on one of the tables. "Tell Gaius I dropped it off. I'll see you later Merlin."

Merlin nodded but didn't respond.

Arthur shut the door behind him and walked slowly back down into the inner city. The streets were still eerily empty. People had mostly gone to their houses. He couldn't keep himself for thinking about Edwin. He had gotten to know him slightly over the past months. He had been young, lively and was just reckless enough to try a little magic for the fun of it, but he never would have meant any harm. How could Uther have ordered him to be put to death? Punish him yes, but kill him? Arthur knew magic had often attacked Camelot, he had seen the results and the effects and the deaths that could result, and when his father had railed against magic Arthur had agreed with him if slightly more temperately. But Edwin hadn't been an evil wizard bent on destruction and vengeance; he had just been a boy.

Arthur was so wrapped in his thoughts he didn't notice until he was feet away from Amon. He stopped short, and found himself at a total loss for what to say. He was suddenly very conscious of the fact that it was his father who had ordered the execution.

"Amon…I'm very sorry about your brother."

The man standing in front of him was not the baker he remembered from just yesterday. His eyes looked empty and lifeless, and his face was haggard and grey.

"Edwin was just a boy," murmured the man looking nowhere in particular.

"I know."

"He just…"

"I know," said Arthur firmly. He stepped closer and laid a comforting hand on Amon's shoulder. "Let me take you up to Gaius. He can give you something to sleep. You look-"

"No!" Amon shouted, pulling back sharply. "No." He said more calmly, "I'm leaving Camelot."

For the first time Arthur noticed the pack at the man's feet.

"Leaving? Now? I know you feel terrible but shouldn't you wait to make this decision?"

"No," said Amon, shaking his head firmly, and for the first time his eyes seemed to focus on Arthur. He picked up his pack and slung it across his back. "I'm leaving and I'm never coming back. And if I were you Arthur, I'd leave too."

"What? Why?"

"Because Camelot is going to pay." Amon's voice grew sharp. "So if you value your life, you will leave Camelot before the full moon. Or I'll not answer for you."

Amon turned away abruptly and started walking.


	16. Chapter 16

Amon walked determinedly through the words, his mind made up, his plan set. In his pack was the purse full of coin, money he had saved and worked for throughout his life so that he could buy Edwin whatever life he wanted; so his brother could choose what he wanted his future to be. Now that coin would buy revenge. He was headed north. He had heard rumors, reliable rumors, that just past Camelot's northern border a witch lived whose powers could be bought.

Edwin had played with magic that was all; his skill at it had amounted to nothing more than a few tricks. Amon hadn't known at first and when he learned he had begged him to be careful. He hadn't wanted their family involved in that. But it was too late for safety now, too late to go back to his old life. There wasn't much point to it without Edwin. No, if magic was what it would take to make Uther rue the day he had killed Edwin, then magic was what he would turn to.

"Stop!" commanded a voice, cool and calm.

Amon whirled around. A woman stepped out from beneath the trees. She was dressed in a long, elegant gown of red and silver, her blonde hair was wavy, cascading down her shoulders.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Morgause. And I think I can help you." She started moving slowly towards him.

"Help me? How do you even know me?"

The woman smiled at him, still slowly taking one step after another closer to him. "I have ways of knowing what happens in Camelot. You want revenge for your brother?"

Amon hesitated. But this woman was different, dangerous. And right now, that's what he wanted. "Yes."

"And what are you prepared to give for this revenge?"

"Anything. I have money."

She was just a few feet away from him now. "Money was not what I was thinking of. You want Camelot to bleed?"

"Yes. Uther. Camelot. It's all the same. They turned my brother into the king. They stood back and watched, doing nothing while he died. They all need to pay."

"That would take powerful magic. I could help with that."

"You're a sorceress?"

"I am."

"Anything! I'll do anything!" Amon cried desperately. "Anything!

"I have a spell, it would kill many people, maybe even Uther…but it's blood magic. Dark magic. Are you willing to pay the ultimate price to revenge your brother?"

"Yes. I'll do anything…without my brother I have nothing."

Morgause smiled. "Then, I think something could be arranged." She held out her hand to him.

A thought occurred to Amon and he hesitated. "But I must wait a week."

"Why?" Morgause frowned.

"I gave a friend the chance to save himself. I thought it would take me a week to reach the north…that's how long I gave him, until the full moon. I need to allow him the opportunity to take that chance."

The woman thought for a moment and then nodded. "Very well."

Amon nodded and then shook the woman's hand.

Letting go of the man's hand, Morgause turned away and smiled. This would serve to add another coal on the fire of Uther's burning hatred for magic, it would push him to enforce further and stricter laws against those who practiced it. Soon even Emrys would have to reach his breaking point.

* * *

Crossing the courtyard to reach Gaius' chambers, Arthur stopped aside quickly as the horses passed. He looked up at the riders. Four of them were knights, the fifth was Morgana. He caught her eyes as she rode by and it took him a split second to remember he was supposed to show her the respect of a subject towards the heir to the thrown and to bow to her. She smiled at him and gave a small wave. She recognized him as the man who had made Gwen happy.

As the horses rode away Arthur started moving again. He knocked on Gaius' door and didn't wait for a response before entering.

Merlin was seated in front of a barrel of water, with several empty vials on one side of them, scrubbing them out.

"Hello!" said Merlin, looking up towards him. "How are you?"

"I'm good. I just saw Morgana ride off with several knights."

"Ah yes," said Merlin, "Gwen told me she's riding off to meet with some Lord on Uther's behalf. She'll be gone until tomorrow."

"Well that's good," said Arthur beginning to pace. "It'll be best for her to be away from Camelot at the present."

Merlin raised an eyebrow. "You're not still worried about what Amon said to you last week are you?"

"I'm not sure," shrugged Arthur. "But I'm going to keep my eyes open tonight."

"Arthur, Amon's not a wizard."

"You don't know that. You didn't know Edwin was using magic."

"Edwin wasn't a sorcerer; he didn't have powerful enough magic to pose any sort of real threat to Camelot. Amon had just lost his brother; he was emotionally destroyed and he made threats. I highly doubt you actually have to worry."

"Maybe," Arthur said, noncommittally. "I still wish Gwen had gone with Morgana. Anyways, Gaius asked me to come over and work on the leak in the roof."

"Oh, branching out professionally are we?"

Arthur smiled. "I'll take anything that pays. Just show me where it is."


	17. Chapter 17

Arthur fell back into the chair, exhausted.

"You can tell Gaius, his roof is fixed."

"Here," Merlin handed him a cup of water.

"Thanks."

"It's late. Gaius should be back soon. You should stay for dinner," said Merlin, sitting down next to Arthur.

"And eat Gaius' cooking?"

"It's better than yours."

Arthur grimaced. "I think I'll take a good poison instead. Besides, Gwen's having me over."

"Sometimes I think the only reason you're seeing her is because she feeds you," Merlin said with a wink.

Arthur laughed. "What about you Merlin? There must be some girl, in the whole of Camelot, you're interested in."

Merlin shrugged and shook his head. "No, not really." He bit his lip and then glanced nervously towards Arthur. "There's this woman."

"Really?" Arthur grinned at him.

"No, it's not like that. Not _at all_ like that," said Merlin firmly. "I like talking to her. That is more decidedly _*it*_. We share a common interest in….gardening," he lied. He wanted Arthur's advice about Morgause but knew he had to tread carefully.

"You garden?"

"Yes."

"I didn't know that," Arthur frowned.

"Well I…keep it a secret. And it's hard keeping it a secret sometimes because…it's very much a part of who I am. And she gardens. So we talk about gardening…and it's really nice to have someone to talk to about gardening."

"Gardening?" asked Arthur skeptically.

"Yes." Merlin tried to sound innocent.

"You could always talk about gardening to me," suggested Arthur doubtfully.

"Err, no," said Merlin firmly, "You'd really have to 'garden' yourself to understand. But the thing is she's not…while it's amazing to have someone to talk to about gardening…I don't know that I trust her."

"Trust her?" Arthur looked at Merlin skeptically. "What? You're afraid she'll steal all your gardening secrets or something?"

"No…" Merlin searched for the best way to phrase things. "I just think she might be a bad person. At the same time, talking to her about gardening is very…freeing."

Arthur looked skeptically at Merlin but then smiled and leaning back looked up at the ceiling. "I suppose you could always-"

"What's that?" asked Merlin abruptly.

Arthur glanced towards the front door. He heard distant shouts and what sounded like feet running.

Arthur rose and made towards the doorway, Merlin following behind him. As they came out onto into the courtyard the first thing that struck them both was how dark the night had become. Then they saw several people clustered together looking up in the sky and two guards running down towards the gate.

Stepping out into the open space Arthur looked up. The moon was bloated out by a large dark shadow. It wasn't a cloud or anything else he could readily explain.

He glanced towards Merlin.

"Amon?" Arthur suggested.

"I don't suppose all he's going to do is make it really really dark tonight?" asked Merlin hopefully. Screams immediately started erupting from further in the city.

"Merlin, go into the castle!"

"Where are you going?"

"To the lower city, I need to find Gwen!" Arthur started towards the gate but stopped as he heard what sounded like snarls and one of the guards yelling. He moved several feet closer when the body of one of the soldiers came flying through the air, landing with a thud directly to his left and then the large dark shape leaped on top of it.

The closest thing it resembled was a giant dog. But it was huge, little shorter then Arthur, and even in the darkness he could see the long pointed fangs. And it was black. With the light from the moon blacked out, everything was in deep shadows but this dog was the blackest thing of all. There was something unnatural about the blackness. And it's eyes glowed a dark, bloody red.

Arthur saw the dead man's sword had skidded from his hand as his body had fallen and he bent and picked it up.

Arthur's hand grasped the sword handle with familiarity. It had been several months now since he had held a sword. The one he had taken with him when he had left to find the druids had been lost at some point along the road, as he had stumbled through the rain returning to Camelot. But as he held a sword now it almost felt as if he had been training with his knights just yesterday. After months of confusion and struggle, this was something he knew. This was something he felt prepared for.

The beast lunged. He threw himself to the left and struck as the beast turned to attack again. He cut it across its left shoulder but it hardly seemed to daze the creature. It raised its front paw and the sharp claws at least three inches long seemed to gleam from within with a dark, shadowy light of their very own. It slashed down at Arthur as he raised his sword to parry it.

Two knights came running out of the castle; one was shouting something towards the remaining soldiers at the gate while the second moved into help Arthur.

Merlin watched anxiously from the side. He kept being on the verge of helping but he couldn't see a way of doing it without being noticed. He did however realize Arthur and the knight were having trouble seeing. In the inky blackness they could only aim for the dog's general direction, they couldn't see too clearly what they hitting at. He glanced around him quickly and then hurrying towards old crates he whispered a few magic words and flames sprung up, illuminating the courtyard.

The flames flew up just as the beast slashed again with his paw. Arthur dodged it easily but the knight was slower and caught the blow on his shoulder, it threw him down to ground and blood poured from the wound. The beast stood over its fallen enemy and raised its paw again to deliver the killing blow. Arthur leaped forward and slashed.

The animal raised it head and howled in pain as the end of its paw separated from the rest of it. Arthur lunged again, slitting the throat. The beast fell backwards.

Arthur knelt down beside the fallen knight.

"Sir Leon, can you move?"

The man grunted in pan.

"Merlin!" Arthur called, "Help me carry him into the castle."

Carrying Leon together, the two men were able to move him inside. They met Gaius in the large entrance hall and taking one look at the hurt knight he quickly directed them to take him into a bedroom and he started examining the wound.

Gaius was able to stop the bleeding and gave Leon something to help him sleep, but he looked grave as he walked away.

He heard Arthur's hurried description of events and frowned. "Come, we must see Uther."

Arthur wanted to protest but as Merlin quickly started following Gaius, he sighed and fell into step too. After all, the beast was dead and everything seemed to have happened quickly. Gwen was probably alright, and he should probably know what was happening before rushing off to find her.

The three reached the throne room. Several knights were in anxious consultation with Uther and there was tension in the air.

"Your Majesty," said Gaius, approaching the king quickly. "In the courtyard, it seems there was-"

"Yes," Uther interrupted. "I already know."

"Arthur was able to kill it. I am almost certain these are not natural beasts, but magical."

"Do you have any idea what kind of magic?" demanded Uther.

"From his and Merlin's description I believe them to be Shadow Hounds. Very powerful, very deadly."

"But obviously, killable?"

"Yes, they have two weaknesses that I am aware of."

"What?"

"They are the most powerful in the dark. Light, any form of light, will weaken them. It's the only hope to destroy them, but even with firelight they are extremely deadly. However they are only borrowed creatures, summoned from another realm, and can only last the night."

"So we can wait them out?"

Gaius looked alarmed. "You mean there were more of them?"

"Yes. I've already received reports of several of these beasts in the city. Three knights have already fallen to them. We've closed off the gates and they seem largely restricted to the lower city now. Let us prey they do not break through. I've sent several soldiers down to attempt to evacuate some of the people but…one man returned…only one. He…" Uther shook his head sadly.

"You have to send more! Send the knights!" burst in Arthur.

"They'd be cut down! I cannot afford to send the knights," said Uther, angrily. "Magic is at foot here and this may not be the end of it. The rest of the city for the time is safe, but they would be severely compromised if I sent the knights into the lower city! We were barely able to close the gates to prevent any more of those things through to the rest of the town, we lost several men in the process. If we open them now I doubt we would be able to secure them again."

"You can't leave people to die!" shouted Arthur. Right now the rage he was feeling towards his father matched what he had felt when he had first learned the truth of his mother's death. He felt himself grip his sword instinctively as the fury rushed through him. Gwen could be cut off down there, locked in the lower city with those 'things' and Uther was refusing to send help.

"I will do what is best for me people!" thundered Uther, "And you will remember your place!"

Arthur calmed down. He nodded curtly. "I can't leave the people to die. My place is with them." He turned and walked quickly out of the throne room.

Merlin exchanged one quick glance with Gaius. Gaius saw the look in his eyes and he opened his month to say something, but before he could Merlin had turned and was following Arthur out.


	18. Chapter 18

"So what the plan?" asked Merlin, hurrying to catch up to Arthur.

"The plan is to find Gwen," said Arthur, walking determinedly through the castle.

"Yeah, good plan, but how are we actually planning on getting to the lower city? You heard Uther, the gates are closed."

Arthur stopped momentarily and looked at Merlin. "We?"

"You don't think I'm going to let you go out there alone do you? Gwen would never forgive me if I let you get killed."

"And you think you can help?"

"Well someone has to do the thinking."

"You're expecting to do that are you?" But he smiled. "Let's go." He started off again.

"Again, how were you planning on getting there with the gates locked?"

Arthur stopped again.

"That's what I thought," Merlin grinned. He grabbed a torch from a bracket on the wall. "If we take the sewers we should be able to break through one of the grates and follow it through to the lower city."

Arthur looked at him quizzically. "You know the sewers well do you?"

Merlin shrugged. "Come on." Breaking into a run the two made for the sewers.

* * *

Leveraging with his sword, Arthur shoved the grate aside and together he and Merlin climbed up onto the street ahead.

There were shouts nearby now, people yelling, several screams, distantly they could hear snarls from the hounds, but the street they were on was empty.

Arthur looked about him trying to get his bearings. Recognizing one of the houses he was glad to see they had arrived not too far from Gwen's house. Motioning to Merlin he started moving quickly in the direction towards it.

Arthur hurried quickly through the streets, straining his ears for sounds close at hand but being too anxious to slow down and examine the area ahead as he knew he ought. They passed several dead bodies but Arthur refused to look too closely at any of them, refusing to admit one of them might be Gwen's.

Finally her house appeared at the end of the street. He felt his heart drop as he saw the door: it had been smashed in.

Reaching it, he pushed it aside and entered. He felt his heart stop. A woman's body lay on the floor.

He couldn't lose Gwen, not now, not now that he knew what it meant to have her, to love her. Yes, he realized in that instant how deeply he did love her.

Merlin entered the house.

"Arthur…" he whispered…and then stepping closer he held the torch up and Arthur felt himself sag in relief. It wasn't Gwen; it Maria, a friend of hers…but then where was Gwen?

"We have to find her," he said firmly, "Maybe she headed for my workshop-" He was just stepping into the street when he heard Merlin's warning.

"Look out!"

Arthur instinctively threw himself forward missing the Shadow Hound as it leapt towards him. He quickly regained his feet and whirled to face the beast, only to register there were two of them. Merlin had been right behind him at the door but had managed to jump back into the house, but the torch had fallen to the ground and been extinguished.

Both animals charged Arthur. He rolled to the right, and struck but the blow barely made impact. The hit animal whirled towards him raising its claws. He dodged easily but was brought face to face with the second hound. It lunged forward, his teeth sharp and deadly. Arthur slashed with his sword and was able to divert the direction of the large teeth plunging towards him but he was left open on the right. The first animal lunged towards him and he was able to leap towards the left but not before a claw sliced his arm. The force of the attack unbalanced him and he fell to the ground. He quickly rolled over onto his back just in time to see the first hound looming over him, claws raised. He thought he heard Merlin saying something but he couldn't make it out. He knew instantly that he wasn't going to be able to raise his sword in time. This was it. He could already envision the claws tearing through him. He wished desperately that he could know if Gwen was safe.

There was a blinding white light and the Shadow Hound was thrown past him, hit the wall of a building and slid to the ground in a burning heap.

Arthur looked toward the source of the attack. Merlin was still standing in the doorway of Gwen's house. His hand was outstretched; his eyes were a glowing gold.

The second beast leapt towards Merlin and Arthur heard the words this time.

" _Al mork al treshth, salkath._ " A bolt of light shot from Merlin's hand, striking the second hound and throwing it backwards just like the first.

Arthur pulled himself to his feet, staring at Merlin. His mind was whirring.

Merlin's lowered his hand and his eyes faded back to normal. He looked slightly embarrassed and coughed nervously.

"Arthur…" he took a step forward and Arthur instinctively raised his sword slightly. Merlin caught the movement and looked hurt. He frowned. "I did just save your life," Merlin pointed out and then sighed, "If you'll just listen to me…"

Arthur lowered his sword and then forcing his voice to sound as calm as he could he said, "We don't have time for this. We'll discuss it later."

Merlin hesitated and then glancing back at Gwen's house, nodded. He picked up the fallen torch and then glancing nervously towards Arthur muttered a few words and the torch flared back to life. Trying to ignore this and the sick feeling in his stomach, Arthur turned away. Merlin…he had known the man all this time…how much of it had been a lie?

He reminded himself firmly of the words he had just said to Merlin. Now was not the time.

He moved off down the street, heading in the direction of the screams.

* * *

As the two hurried along a street that seemed particularly scattered with debris Arthur was brought up short by the sound of a groan from what he had assumed was a dead body.

He waved at Merlin to bring the light closer and then knelt down.

"Sir Helrid!" he exclaimed, recognizing the knight.

The knight tried feebly to push himself up but failed.

"Here, let me help you." Arthur pulled the man up into a sitting position and leaned him against a wall. "Are you badly injured?"

"I fear I am one of the luckier ones," said the man, grimacing in pain. "But the Lady Morgana…"

"I thought she had left the city!" said Arthur alarmed.

"Yes. I was one of those sent to escort her. But some ways out from Camelot a messenger from Lord Kar'rel, reached us saying he had been forced to deal with some evaders on his western border and could not meet with us. When we arrived back in Camelot those monsters had already begun the attack. We tried to get the Lady Morgana to the castle but all the gates were barred…" The knight coughed and then took a deep breath, struggling to overcome the pain. "There was a large crowd of people trying to get through the gate…just then we were attacked by those things…I was separated from the others, I don't know what's become of the Lady Morgana…" The man groaned in pain.

Arthur looked about him; seeing an opened door and he pointed towards it. "We'll take you someplace safe and then we'll find her, I promise."

"Those things…they're unkillable," breathed the knight.

"Well we've managed three of them," said Arthur, glancing towards Merlin.

"How?"

"Light," supplied Merlin, gesturing towards the torch and its firelight. "Gaius says they're weaker in light."

And a good dose of magic doesn't seem to hurt, thought Arthur wryly.


	19. Chapter 19

After hiding Sir Helrid away in a deserted house, Merlin and Arthur headed out onto the streets again. They were making their way towards Arthur's blacksmith shop when they heard, coming from a few streets away, the snarl and growling of the Shadow Hounds and several screams.

Cursing under his breath at the delay Arthur turned and headed towards the noise, Merlin following behind.

They came out into a more open area, with a long squat rectangular building opposite and a small square in front of it. Two knights were standing in front of the doorway to the building trying to fight off one of the hounds. The men seemed to be keeping the beast at bay for the time being, but without knowledge of the hound's weakness, it was unlikely they would survive the battle.

Scanning the area quickly for anything made of wood, Arthur threw several crates and a barrel onto a pile near the center of the square and grabbing the torch from Merlin lit it on fire. Still holding the torch he raised his sword and approached the battling knights. He swung the torch towards the hound, striking its head just as one the knights stabbed at its left flank. The animal howled in pained as the three men pressed their advantage.

"Thank you," said one of the knights, turning to Arthur, moments later after delivering the final blow to the Shadow Hound.

Arthur gestured towards the bonfire he had started in the center of the square, that Merlin was now throwing more wood onto. "Light. They're weaker in the light."

The knight nodded in understanding.

Arthur glanced towards the building the two men had been defending and saw through the windows that a large group of people were inside.

The second knight noticed the direction of his gaze and explained, "We were stuck on this side of the gate with the Lady Morgana. We were in a large crowd of people when those monsters attacked. She insisted we get as many of them to safety as possible." He gestured toward the building. "It's an old meeting hall, there's only the one entrance. One of the people suggested it."

"Is Guinevere inside? The Lady Morgana's maidservant?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Is Morgana?" asked Arthur anxiously.

The two knights exchanged glances and the first one shook his head. "No. She insisted on going with Sir Jon to gather more survivors and wounded. She ordered us to remain here and protect those inside…neither of us liked it but she didn't give us a choice..."

Arthur smiled. "She can be stubborn." It occurred to him how much he missed Morgana.

"Do you know how to use that?" the knight asked, gesturing towards the sword in Arthur's hand.

"Pretty well," replied Arthur, adding to himself, _and I taught you how to use yours._

"Good. If you could find the Lady Morgana…she should have been back by now. It has been over an hour. She said she would venture no further than a few streets."

"Which direction did she go?"

The knight gestured down a street that was opposite to the blacksmith shop.

Arthur sighed. "One moment." He headed over to Merlin and lowered his voice. "Morgana has gone with a knight in search of survivors to bring back here but they should have been back by now."

"You want to go look for her?"

Arthur sighed and rubbed his face vigorously. "I don't see that I have much of a choice. I…I need you to do something for me Merlin."

"Anything," said Merlin quickly.

"I need you to look for Gwen. Try the workshop first. She may have gone there looking for me. I know if you find her…I know you can protect her. Please."

"Of course."

"Thank you Merlin." Arthur turned to go.

"What about you? Will you be alright?" asked Merlin with concern.

"I think so. I'll take a torch and I'll try and avoid the Hounds if at all possible. Don't worry about me just…just find Gwen…and be careful yourself."

* * *

Morgana ran. She could hear the panting of the monster behind her and she sped up. She clutched a dagger in her hand but doubted it would have much effect on what was following her. She hoped desperately Sir Jon was alright. They had been separated when the animal attacked. It felt as if she had been running forever and she was running out of breath but the panting, growing ever closer, kept pushing her forward.

She hurried faster, glancing over her shoulder intermittently but she couldn't see the large black shape she knew was somewhere back there in the darkness.

She turned down a side street in what she hoped was the direction of the meeting hall where she had left the others.

She was just reaching the end of it when a cloaked figured seemed to materialize out of the darkness. She stopped abruptly and panting hard tried to force out the words to warn the stranger of the danger but before she could the figure raised its hand and murmured,

" _Seltheth meth reen._ "

Morgana fell to the ground unconsciousness.

The Shadow Hound that had been chasing her approached, but at one word from the figure it slinked away out of the street and ran off to find another victim.

The stranger bent down over Morgana and slipped the bracelet which had kept the nightmares away for the past four months, off of her wrist. Then taking a knife and a small glass vial out from under its cloak, the figure made a small, but deep, cut along Morgana's arm and held up the vial to catch the blood.

Then standing up and stepping away from Morgana the figure murmured gently, "I'm sorry my sister, but it is for the good of all of us."

"Morgana!" Arthur's voice came ringing down the street.

The figure glanced and then turning ran off into the darkness.

Arthur took just a moment to wonder if his eyes had been playing tricks in the shadows and he had really seen a figure standing over Morgana, but he was too preoccupied to think about it for long.

He bent over Morgana with concern. He couldn't find the source for her unconsciousness, she seemed to be unhurt save for a cut on her arm which was still bleeding. He ripped a small section of cloth from his shirt and wrapped it around her arm. He set aside the torch and slipped his sword through his belt and then lifting her, made his way back towards the meeting hall. It was when he was halfway there that he heard the howls of the three Shadow Hounds behind him and he was forced to break into a run.


	20. Chapter 20

Merlin reached the blacksmith workshop with little trouble but he kept having the uncomfortable feeling there was something nearby in the darkness. As he stood outside the building and strained his ears he thought he could hear soft whispering coming from within.

Tentatively he pushed open the door.

"Oh Merlin!" came Gwen's relieved voice. He jumped in surprise and turned to see her standing directly to the right of the door, a farm axe raised above her head. She lowered the weapon. "I'm glad you're alright."

"Gwen! We've been looking all over for you. Are you alright?" He studied her. She had a few scratches and her dress was torn but she looked mostly alright.

"I'll be fine. Have you seen Arthur?"

"Yes, he was just with me but he had to go find Morgana."

"Morgana?" Gwen said in surprise. "She's here?"

"Yes. Look some knights are set up over at the old meeting hall. I didn't have any trouble getting here, we can probably make it and Arthur will come back there with Morgana."

"I can't leave here," said Gwen stubbornly.

"Why not?" Merlin followed her gaze and realized in his excitement of having found her he hadn't really looked at the rest of the workshop. There were a handful of people there, mostly women and children and a few looked wounded.

"They can't be moved," said Gwen, stepping closer to Merlin and lowering her voice. "Two of them are very badly hurt."

Merlin sighed. "You know it's no wonder you and Arthur like each other. Between the two of you, you try and save all of Camelot." But he grinned at her. "Okay, so we hold out here. Gaius said these are magically summoned beasts and will only last the night so we only have to stay here a few hours. And they don't like fire, so we get a fire going outside the door and set people to watching the windows in back."

Gwen nodded. "I'll have some of others gathering everything in here that can burn."

* * *

Arthur felt his arms ache as he ran carrying Morgana and he knew he was slowing down. It hadn't felt like he had walked this far looking for Morgana and he worried he might have taken a wrong turn. He heard the growls and howls coming from down the street behind him. The part of his brain that wasn't desperately trying to urge himself to run faster was worried by Morgana's unresponsiveness, but he couldn't take the time to check on her now. The hounds were getting closer; he could hear their claws clicking on the stone pavement as they ran. Then he saw the light, coming through the distance between two buildings and he found in himself a second burst of speed. He was running through the narrow ally and coming out into the square. The bonfire he and Merlin had started was now much larger, with a pile of crates, barrels and wood over on one side, ready to be added if needed. He ran a few several feet closer to the fire and then felt his legs give out as he collapsed to the ground, then his arms gave out and he was forced to lay Morgana onto the ground.

The hounds leapt out into the square behind him but the knights were on them as Arthur bent over gasping for breath.

* * *

Gwen and two other women were searching through the workshop. They had pulled out several old crates, barrels, some straw and had found a bag of coal. The latter wouldn't produce much light, but it would at least keep the fire hot and make it easier to add to more onto it.

Merlin was just about to suggest they start the fire when he heard the growls outside and a large thud against the closed door. It shook and seemed to give a little. One of the children screamed. Merlin threw himself against the door, there was another thud and Merlin could feel the heavy impact against the door.

Gwen grabbed a small oil lamp they had lit earlier and ran to the window closest to the door. Pushing open the shutter she threw it. There was a crash as the glass shattered and the oil spread, catching light and a soft glow came in through the window. Gwen ran back to grab some of the wood and straw they had collected while Merlin ran to the window. Casting a hasty glance over his shoulder he stretched out his hand and whispered a few careful words. The flames leapt higher, burning brighter, but Gwen didn't seem to notice when she came back and started throwing things through the window, trying to build up the fire.

* * *

Someone came out of the meeting hall and helped Arthur carry Morgana inside. They laid her down on a long, low bench. Carefully checking her, Arthur was still confused about what was wrong with her. She was breathing, her pulse seemed fine and he could see no physical wound that would explain her unconsciousness and Morgana was most decidedly not the kind of woman to faint from fear in a dangerous situation. Glancing around over the large room, he was impressed by the large number of people crowded in there; most of them probably owed their lives to Morgana now and her insistence that her knights protect them.

Arthur was startled by the way he had phrased that in his own head, 'her knights'. They weren't his any longer.

The people nearby were looking down on Morgana with concern but also with respect. He recognized that respect and loyalty. Arthur started thinking.

One of the two knights burst into the room at that moment and beckoned to Arthur. He came over and the knight whispered urgently, "There's more of them. We need you."

Arthur drew his sword and headed out into the square.

* * *

Merlin and Gwen stood by one of the windows, looking out. Most of the hounds seemed to have slunk off as the flames burned, blocking off the door. Smaller fires had been started in areas in front of the windows or people had taken torches over to them. One or two hounds still paced on the street outside, growling at the flames. Flames which Merlin hoped no one noticed were lasting an awfully long time.

Gwen occasionally stepped away to check on the wounded but most of them were asleep now. Mostly the two just stood and watched.

Merlin glanced anxiously up at the sky and felt relief surge through him. The blackness of night was slowly turning a dull grey. It couldn't be long now before the sun would rise. When next Gwen left him for a moment Merlin took the chance to mutter a few words, the fire started to diminish, but slowly.

The hounds seemed to be aware their time was running out for their pacing grew more impatient, more frantic. They howled and snapped at the fire and they scrapped their claws along the ground.

The sky turned pink and the sun slowly started to rise.

Throughout the lower city every Shadow Hound seemed to raise its head and howl as one and then slowly they dissolved into nothing…

* * *

Arthur collapsed to his knees; exhaustion was washing through him in large waves. It had seemed the numbers of those beasts had been endless, repeatedly coming again and again throughout the night, the attacks often coming from multiple sides at once.

Morgana had woken half an hour ago. He hadn't gotten a chance to really see her as with the approach of dawn the hounds' attacks had gotten more frequent, but she seemed to be alright.

Forcing himself back to his feet he made himself stand up again. Merlin hadn't returned during the night. Ordinarily his first thought would have been that the man had been hurt. But given what he'd learned about him a few hours ago, he felt more certain that Merlin would be alright. But had he found Gwen?

Just as the question crossed his mind he heard his name being shouted.

He turned and there she was. Bedraggled, but alright, and he swore to himself that he had never seen a more beautiful sight.

And she was running towards him and then she was in his arms and the two were kissing, and Arthur forgot all about how exhausted he had been five minutes ago.


	21. Chapter 21

As the dawn turned into late morning, Arthur still had not been able to go to sleep. The knights had taken Morgana back up to the castle as soon as the gates opened and Gaius had come down and started to tend to the wounded, setting Arthur and Merlin off to scour the lower city for anyone who might need his attention while Gwen assisted him.

Merlin seemed anxious to avoid Arthur, having grown increasingly nervous about what Arthur might say about his magic. Arthur felt too tired to think about two things at once and so concentrated on the search.

Shortly before noon a knight arrived and informed Arthur that Uther requested his immediate presence up at the castle.

Walking back up to the castle Arthur couldn't help but feel a little nervous as he couldn't help but remember their last encounter. Even when Uther had remembered Arthur was his son, he hadn't had much tolerance for Arthur yelling at him.

The knights took Arthur through the castle and into a private study of his father's. Arthur was surprised to find himself alone with Uther. for after the knights had bowed they retreated, shutting the heavy oak doors behind them. Uther was standing over near the window looking out and he gestured at Arthur to approach.

Coming up next to Uther a dark thought flickered through Arthur's mind that he still had his sword and the two were completely alone. If ever he wanted his revenge for what his father had done to his mother, or for Uther's actions last night, now was the time…

"You summoned me, Your Majesty?" Arthur asked, trying to sound respectful, remembering that the two times they had talked in the last four months had been when he had tried to tell Uther he was his son and last night, and neither had gone very well.

"I did," Uther turned towards him. He reached out and clasped Arthur on the shoulder. "I have been given a full account of your actions last night…and I am fully aware of how much I owe you. You saved Morgana's life last night, not to mention several of my knights'. I am in your debt for an amount I can never repay."

"Your Majesty I assure you, you owe me nothing. I was merely performing my duty."

"No," said Uther firmly. "Morgana is everything I have. As my ward she is more than merely the heir to the throne…she is the most important thing in my life. Both I, and Camelot, owe you a debt of gratitude."

Arthur paused for a moment, and wondered why it didn't hurt more to hear his father's love transferred to another. "The Lady Morgana is a great woman. She saved those people last night with her bravery and her leadership. She will be a great ruler someday and a great queen. I am glad I could help to ensure that that day will still come."

Uther smiled. "I summoned you here to do more than offer my thanks. I know you and I have had friction the times we have met but I am willing to overlook past arguments. The knights told me how well you fought; they say you are one of the best swordsmen they have ever seen. Sir Trey even confessed you to be better than him and if you knew him you'd know how extraordinary it is for him to confess that."

"Well it was a long night," shrugged Arthur, "Undoubtedly the man's tired and not thinking straight."

Uther laughed and then turned serious. "I wish to help you. I wish to appoint you as a castle guard."

"A castle guard?"

"Yes. I wish to take an interest in you. And given your reported prowess with a sword I think it's a position eminently suited. When next Camelot is attacked, I would ensure that you would play a part in her defense. Well, what do have to say?"

Arthur stared at his father for a moment. Uther was offering a lot. He was offering him a position from which Arthur could easily watch for any sorcerer that should come to the castle. He would be aware of the comings and goings of those inside the castle much more than he ever could as a blacksmith. Also, he had earned his father's respect…he had done something and Uther was grateful…he remembered how hard he had once worked to try and make his father proud of him….

And he realized he was done with that. Perhaps it was because he was no longer proud of his father.

In his head suddenly, he could hear Iseldir's words:

' _But you must choose how you wish to live your life, if you are willing to live what could be the rest of your years with nothing more than a hope of restoring what was lost.'_

And then he realized something even more important. He realized he didn't want to restore what was lost anymore. He was happy with what he had and Camelot didn't need him. He remembered the respect the people in the meeting hall had shown towards Morgana, they clearly looked up to her and had faith in her. She was wise and firm but tempered her firmness with far more kindness then Uther did. And she did not have his burning, passionate hatred against magic. Camelot would flourish under her. Arthur would feel no guilt in leaving it to her.

And instantly he knew; there was only one thing he really wanted.

He started to speak, speaking slowly, picking his words carefully. "Your Majesty, I cannot express to you how much your offer means to me. I am very sensible of the great honor you do me. But I…am content, more than content, with the life I have now. I will confess to Your Majesty that I am a terrible blacksmith. Quite possible the worst blacksmith whoever lived but…I am happy and I am at peace…there is only favor, I must beg Your Majesty."

"And what is that?" asked Uther.

Arthur weighted his words carefully. "Where I come from…it is traditional, when someone wishes to marry a member of the royal house, even if it is only a servant girl in the castle mind you, to formally ask the King's permission. I realize that is not the case in Camelot, but as it is the tradition of my people I wouldn't feel right not to do so. So I would like to formally ask you, Uther Pendragon, for your permission for me, Arthur, to marry Guinevere."

Uther blinked at him for a second and then smiled. "I am happy to give it. You both have my blessing." He shook Arthur's hand. "And you may expect a small wedding present from me when the day comes."

Arthur bowed and smiled and then excused himself. Walking away down the hall he couldn't help but grin to himself. At least if the worst happened and somehow everyone did remember him ever again, his father couldn't get angry about Arthur marrying without his express permission.

As he stepped out into the courtyard he just caught site of Gaius entering his house and it stopped him dead in his steps. What he really wanted to do now was to go and collapse in bed, but a nagging voice in his head told him that wasn't fair to Merlin. He needed to deal with him first.

Sighing, he walked towards the Physicians' chambers.


	22. Chapter 22

Walking inside, Arthur nodded a greeting to Gaius. "Is Merlin here?" he asked.

"No, but he should be back soon."

"Thank you. I'll wait for him in his room." Arthur hurried up the stairs and entered Merlin's bedroom. He took a seat on the bed and buried his face in his hands. He supposed he should be glad Merlin wasn't there at the moment as it gave him time to think; for he realized he hadn't actually decided what he would say to him when he saw him.

Merlin was a wizard. Merlin had magic.

The thought seemed ludicrous. How could _Merlin_ be a sorcerer? Really?

"Maybe," said Arthur to the room in general, "I really have gone mad…"

All that time Merlin had been his servant, what had his true agenda been?

As he asked the question to himself, Arthur couldn't help but burst out laughing. Agenda and Merlin didn't really seem to go together.

Then Arthur grew serious as another thought occurred to him. He had wondered if a sorcerer would show up in Camelot, but what if the sorcerer who had cast the spell on him had been here all along? What if it was Merlin?

But what could Merlin hope to gain from it? In the position of manservant to the Prince, he had been in a much stronger position to cause trouble then just as assistant to Gaius.

So why had Merlin worked for him? What had he hoped to achieve? Could Arthur really trust him?

But as far as he knew Merlin had never tried to do him, his father or Camelot any harm. In fact Merlin had helped and supported him on several occasions…in fact…

And then a memory swam to the forefront of Arthur's mind. Him, holding his sword at his father's throat, his mother's words still ringing in his ears…and Merlin. Merlin talking him down, telling him Morgause was lying…and Arthur remembered what he had told Merlin afterwards, how he was once again convinced of the evil of magic…

The full selflessness of Merlin's action shocked Arthur as he stared unseeingly across the room.

And there was his answer. That's how he knew he could trust Merlin. Merlin might never remember what he had done for him, but Arthur would never forget.

A minute late he heard Merlin running up the steps, the door opened and he came in.

"Arthur," Merlin greeted him with a nervous smile.

Arthur rose to his feet. "Merlin, we need to talk about last night."

Merlin nodded. "Look if you'd just hear me out. I'm not evil, I'm not bad. Magic isn't like that. I didn't even choose it, it chose me. I've had it since the day I was born, I can't help it. I-"

Arthur raised his hand to silence him and interrupted, "You don't have to explain Merlin. You never have to explain yourself to me."

"I…don't?" Merlin looked at him quizzically, "Because it seemed last night like you were…"

"No, I mean maybe you have to explain some of your taste in clothes and general behavior, but about what I saw last night? No. I was a little shocked. But I know you're not evil and that…I can trust you."

"So…you're not going to report me?"

"Why would I do that?" asked Arthur. "I'm not the prince of Camelot. I'm not a knight. I'm just a blacksmith. Why would I report you? And Merlin…thank you for saving my life last night."

Merlin grinned. "You do realize I'm not going to let you forget that anytime soon?"

"I had a feeling as much."

When Arthur descended the stairs a few minutes later, Gaius gave him one look and immediately insisted Arthur take his bed and sleep. After a quick contemplation of the walk through the city to reach his own bed, Arthur agreed and collapsed onto the cot, not even bothering with the blankets. He was asleep immediately.


	23. Chapter 23

Gwen rolled over and wondered what had awakened her. Morgana had made it clear she didn't expect Gwen to work for a few days after everything that happened the night before last and Gwen planned on taking advantage of that fact and sleeping in.

She closed her eyes and was just preparing to drift back off, when she heard a soft knocking on her door.

Sitting up she frowned at the door and then pulling a shawl around her shoulders went to answer it.

"Arthur?" She glanced over his shoulder and looked up at the sky. It appeared to be a little past dawn.

"Gwen, I was hoping you'd take a walk with me."

"At this hour?" asked Gwen frowning.

"…yes."

Gwen looked at him curiously. He looked nervous and strained. She decided it was best to just agree.

"Alright," she said. "Wait while I get dressed."

Gwen glanced curiously up at Arthur as he led her out of Camelot and into the woods. He wasn't saying very much as they walked. He simple held her hand and looked preoccupied.

"Is everything alright Arthur?"

"What?" he looked down at her.

"I mean yesterday when Uther summoned you to the castle. He wasn't angry with you was he?"

"Oh no, not at all. He thanked me for saving Morgana," said Arthur looking confused. "Why?"

"You seem anxious."

"Ah, I…" Arthur trailed off. Gwen waited expectantly for him to continue speaking but he seemed set on silence, so she decided to wait and see. Clearly he hadn't shown up randomly at her door asking for a walk for no reason.

The trees parted and a small clearing of smooth grass spread out before them, and past the clearing lay the lake. It was lovely.

Arthur let go of her hand and walking over to the foot of a tree pulled out a basket that had been hiding behind tall grass.

He set it down in the middle of the clearing and opened it.

"What's that?" asked Gwen, coming over to sit down beside him in front of the basket.

"A picnic. Not a very good one," Arthur added hastily. "I…cooked it. And as Merlin was very kind to remind me while I did it, no one wants to eat my cooking. But I wanted to do it for you Gwen. I wanted to do something for you."

"Arthur…" said Gwen touched. She leant forward and kissed him.

"I love you Gwen."

"I love you Arthur."

He reached out and ran his hand through her hair gently, and then he turned his attention back to the basket.

He pulled out a blanket which he spread on the ground and started to take out the food. He had clearly gone for simplicity, trying not to push his skills, or lack thereof, too far, but Gwen thought it all looked wonderful. They started eating, but she noticed that Arthur didn't seem to have much of an appetite and he was still looking nervous.

Once Gwen had finished, Arthur asked her if she would like to take a walk around the lake. They started off in silence.

Silence, until Arthur stopped suddenly and turned to stand in front of Gwen.

"There's something I want to say to you," he began, his voice sounded surer now. "There are two things actually."

"What is it?"

"You are a wonderful woman. You're beautiful, but you are also brave, kind and good. I know now, what I should have known for some time: that you make me a better man. I want to live up to everything I feel like I can be when I am with you. I want to be the man you think I am. But more importantly, I never want to go another day without you. I love you Guinevere and I wish that you would marry me."

"Arthur…" she took a step towards him, but he took a step back, holding up his hand. She looked at him confused.

"There's something else I have to tell you before you give me your answer," he said. "It wouldn't be fair to you otherwise. You remember when we first met and you lied for me?"

"When you were in the throne room claiming to be the prince of Camelot?" Gwen asked wondering where he was going with this.

"Yes. Everyone assumed I was crazy. And later, when I was sick and we talked, you assumed it was brought about by grief from losing my family."

"Yes, I remember."

"I still believe it."

A long moment of silence followed as Gwen tried to understand what he was saying. She blinked. "You mean you still believe you're Uther's son?"

"I know I am. And I know you don't. I know no one does. There's a spell cast. That's why no one remembers me. Their minds, their very memories, have been altered with magic. The only thing remembered is of a baby that died at birth along with my mother."

Gwen stood there, looking at him, without saying a word.

Desperately Arthur continued, "I know you can't believe this…I'm not really expecting you to. But I needed to tell you. Because I don't want to go back to the life I use to have. I want the life I have now, with you. But there is a small chance, that someday, something might happen, and I could be remembered…and it's not fair of me to marry you and not to warn you that that could be a possibility. But I swear to you Guinevere, on my honor and on my love for you…that if I were ever again to be Prince of Camelot…you would be my Princess. I would never allow anyone, my father included, to take you from me now."

"…if you were going to say yes," Arthur added embarrassed, "Which I don't actually know that you are."

Gwen stood for a moment more in silence and then she smiled. "I can't believe you Arthur, but I can believe that you believe it, and that's enough for me. I want to marry you."

"Gwen…" his voice was low.

She laughed. "But could you really imagine it? Me, Princess of Camelot?"

"Absolutely." And he pulled her to him and kissed her.

* * *

The large stone alter stood in the cave. Amon's body lay on it. His last breath had escaped him as the last shadow hound had faded into the dawn. Morgause stood over him. Prices had to be paid. Amon had been willing enough, even if he had not expected the death to be quite so long and drawn out. But he had made his choice and Morgause did not feel any remorse.

She stepped away from the alter and walked towards a small stone table. She placed down on it Morgana's bracelet. She ran a finger over the family mark. Then she placed down the vial of blood beside it.

"Soon," she whispered into the darkness. "Soon it will be time. And Emrys will meet his destiny willing or not. But meet it he shall. And the time of the Pendragons will end and magic shall be restored."


	24. Chapter 24

The wedding was a very small affair. Gaius, Merlin and Morgana were the only three guests. Arthur couldn't help but consider how different his marriage was from what it would have been four months ago. Then it would have been a grand occasion with nobles, lords and ladies coming from all over. Now no one but those involved really cared. He couldn't help but feel, as night came and he brought Gwen home, carried her over the threshold and they were alone together, that this, this was better.

Uther kept his word and a sent a small wedding gift. A dress for Gwen, which Morgana confided she had picked out for him, and a small purse full of coin. Four months ago Arthur probably would have thought it wasn't very much, but with his new appreciation for how many hours of labor it took for most of the people of Camelot to make that much, and still vividly remembering the walk through the rain without horse, food or money as he made his way back from the druids, he was grateful.

Morgana had presented Gwen with a simple but beautiful necklace. She had also insisted on attending the ceremony. Uther had protested slightly but when she reminded him of the debt she owed Arthur and of the loyalty Gwen had always shown her, he had agreed.

And Arthur had made the wedding rings. They weren't fancy. They were simple rings, made out of metal, but he had worked at the forge for days struggling to get them the correct sizes. It had felt important to him. He felt an urge inside him to show Gwen he could do whatever it took to love her and make her happy. He felt a need to prove himself to her. And so he had made the rings.

Three months passed and Arthur never once regretted the life he was now leading. He had never felt as complete as he did now...with Gwen. When he was with her he felt as if this were the life he had always meant to have had. The only thing he missed about his old life, were the knights and the training. That had been something he was good at it. He suspected he would never be able to say the same about blacksmithing.

It felt strange now though, to think of the life he had had as Arthur Pendragon. Technically he supposed it hadn't been that long ago, but it felt an eon. Everything was worth it though for her. He still woke up every day in awe that he could call Gwen his wife.

He couldn't care anymore about what his father had done to his mother. The burning rage he had felt towards him seemed so distant. It had melted away and left a hollow empty space of indifference.

He did however care about what Uther was doing now. In the wake of the Shadow Hound attack and the near loss of Morgana, Uther had made further efforts to root out magic, increasing the focus on the villages around Camelot, hiring several Witch Hunters full time to scour the villages and countryside.

Arthur could see the effect the stories of the Witch Hunters' measures had on Merlin and he couldn't blame him.

Merlin seemed to find the opportunity to confide in Arthur extremely freeing. He told him everything. Growing up in Ealdor, what it had been like to be the only one in the village with magic, the reasons his mother had sent him to Camelot and how hard it was sometimes to hide something that was such an important part of himself. He also described a feeling that there was something more he was meant to be doing with his life then sitting around Camelot.

* * *

The insects chirped away their night noises and the forest felt forlorn and dark as Merlin made his way through it. He wasn't entirely happy to be here. He sighed and wished himself back in his own bed but he felt he owed it to Morgause to show up tonight. She seemed to think so to, as the first words she said as he emerged into the clearing were,

"You haven't come for quite some time Merlin."

"I'm sorry I've been…busy."

"How have you been?" she smiled at him.

"Alright." He took a seat on the grass and she came over and joined him.

"You seem upset?"

"No, not really."

"You've heard what Uther and his witch hunters have been doing in the surrounding countryside?"

He had, and since it was upsetting it was easier to attribute his mood to that, then admitting he wasn't entirely comfortable with her any longer, so Merlin nodded.

"Uther must be stopped," said Morgause looking away from Merlin and off into the forest. "Soon there will be no magic left in Camelot and her villages."

Merlin started absently pulling grass up out of the ground and shredding it into small pieces. Morgause glanced at him curiously and then asked, "How is Morgana?"

"I think she's having the nightmares again," said Merlin, relieved at the change of topic. "She seems…exhausted all of the time and strained. I don't think she's wearing the bracelet anymore."

Morgause nodded to herself and Merlin wasn't sure exactly how he would describe the expression that briefly crossed her face but he was fairly certain he didn't like it. Abruptly he stood up.

"I have to get back," he announced.

"You just got here."

"I know but…I have to get back." He hurried off before she could protest.

Left alone, Morgause looked after him thoughtfully. He might not be ready, but from what he said, Morgana was. And once things had started, he would have to see things her way. It was time.

* * *

The sun rose over Camelot. The sky was blue, clear and beautiful.

Morgana groaned as the light spread across her bed and she pushed herself up, shading her eyes from the light.

"My lady?" said Guinevere, concern in her voice, stepping away from the wardrobe she had been picking a dress out from. "Are you alright?"

"Yes…just a bad night's sleep."

"The nightmares," said Gwen gently, coming over to the bedside. "They seem to have come back."

"Yes."

"They have been back for a while now."

Morgana looked up at Gwen and then sighed. "Yes, I'm afraid so. When I started have them again after the attack of those hounds I thought maybe they would just be temporary, brought about by that night but…they don't seem to be going away again…" She rubbed her wrist where she had use to where the bracelet that had seemed to keep the dreams away. "I don't suppose you ever found that bracelet did you?" she asked Gwen.

"No. I searched all over your room for it."

"Hmmm," Morgana rubbed her eyes tiredly, she had not seen it since that night when those beasts had attacked…she suppose she must have lost it had some point in the confusion and she regretted it. She had no idea who had given it to her, or what exactly it was, but it had seem to bring her peace at night and she felt in sore need of that now. Slowly, she got out of bed. "I suppose I had better prepare for the day."

* * *

"Your Majesty," Sir Leon bowed to Uther. "There is a Lady who wishes to see you."

"A lady?" Uther asked. "What kind of lady?"

"She ran into our patrols this morning. She bears the crest of Lord Salvak of the East."

Uther frowned. "Show her in."

The knight nodded and backed out of the throne room. A short minute later he returned, leading a woman behind him. Her clothes were clearly fine and expensive. Sir Leon bowed and then stepped aside. The woman came closer to Uther's throne and sunk into a low curtsey.

"How I may I help you?" asked Uther.

"Forgive me to intrude upon you like this. I was on my way South to visit a friend on behalf of Lord Salvak. I had the good fortune to meet a patrol of your men early this morning and they escorted me back here to Camelot."

"You traveled alone?" asked Uther surprised.

"No my Lord. I had three of Salvak's finest men with me, but I am afraid we were attacked by enemies of our city. I alone escaped."

"That's terrible."

"As you have always been a good friend of our city, I beg of you both a place to stay and protection until I can get a message to Lord Salvak and receive further instructions."

"Of course," said Uther, rising to his feet. "We will send a messenger immediately. In the meantime we would be delighted to have you remain with us."

"Thank you my lord. Your kindness means much."

"I will send for Morgana. She will want to welcome you herself. What is your name?"

"Morgause, sire, I am the Lady Morgause."


	25. Chapter 25

"Merlin," Gaius held up a vial to the light and examined the color of the contents.

"Yes?" Merlin looked up from the book he was reading.

"Will you take this to Morgana for me?"

"Sure." Merlin set aside the book and came over to stand beside Gaius. "Is it to help her sleep?"

"Hopefully. But I doubt its effectiveness," said Gaius gravely. "It was not my medicine that helped last time."

Merlin made a noncommittal sound and Gaius looked at him sharply.

"Do you know something Merlin that you are not telling me?"

"So medicine for Morgana right?" Merlin grabbed the vial and made for the exit. "Got to go deliver it."

"Merlin!"

"Bye!" Merlin shut the door behind him and ran across the court yard. Confident that Gaius wasn't going to try following him to continue his questions, Merlin slowed down as he reached the entrance to the castle. He took a nice leisurely pace as he walked through the hallways making his way towards Morgana's room. He was just starting to whistle a tune when he heard his name called. He turned around to look who was speaking and saw Morgana. There was a woman beside her but he didn't initially look at who it was.

He held up the vial as he came closer to her.

"Gaius wanted me to drop this off for you. He said it should help you sleep."

Morgana smiled, albeit wearily. "Tell Gaius thank you. I hope it does." She took the vial. "Merlin, may I introduce to do you the Lady Morgause."

"What?" Merlin looked where Morgana was gesturing and his jaw dropped open. Morgause was standing beside Morgana, smiling and looking for all the world as if she had never seen Merlin before in her life.

"This is Merlin," said Morgana, continuing the introductions. "He's a sort of assistant to our court physician, but more importantly," she smiled at him. "He's a good friend."

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance Merlin," said Morgause smiling.

"Why-..what…how-" Merlin was at a loss for words and Morgana glanced at him curiously.

"I was hoping Merlin," said Morgana loudly, trying to get him to stop staring at Morgause. "That you would run down to Gwen's house. I told her she could go home for a little while but I thought maybe she could help attend to Morgause."

"Morgause…" Merlin was still staring.

"Merlin!" said Morgana, a little more loudly and a little more firmly.

"Yes? What?" He said, snapping his attention back to Morgana at last.

"Gwen?"

"Oh right, yes…right away." He started off, but as he made his way down the hall he kept shooting glances over his shoulder back towards the pair.

"I apologize for that," said Morgana, as soon as he was out of sight. "I don't really understand Merlin's behavior."

"It's alright," said Morgause smiling. "I don't mind."

* * *

"I think you've found your vocation," said Gwen, standing to one side and examining Arthur's work.

"Yes," said Arthur, grinning at her. "I can put up wooden shelves. Tell me," he said, taking a seat on the chair and pulling Gwen down onto his lap. "How many people do you think need shelves put up in all of Camelot? I could be the shelf-putter-upper."

Gwen laughed and put his arms around his neck. "You're not giving yourself enough credit. You also cut and sanded the wood."

"Ah, well then that makes all the difference." He kissed her.

"But you have to give yourself more credit in general," she said, "You're blacksmithing is getting much better. By providing a cheaper way for the poor people to get their items fixed, you provide a great service to Camelot."

He smiled. "I'm still having a little trouble with making things from scratch however."

"Yes…I heard about the swords you attempted from Merlin."

"He wasn't supposed to tell you that!"

Gwen laughed. Then she looked around the house and sighed contentedly as she laid her head on Arthur's shoulder. Neither seemed to feel it necessary to speak for a long while.

"Arthur," said Gwen after sometime. She ran a hand through his hair. "There's something I-"

There came a loud knock on the door and Merlin burst in. He looked agitated.

"Merlin, you do know you have terrible timing don't you?" asked Arthur as Gwen rose to her feet.

"How are you doing?" Gwen asked, more welcomingly.

"Morgana wants you," said Merlin, "She sent me to fetch you."

"Alright," Gwen leaned down and kissed Arthur and then made towards the door.

"Wait, I'll walk you part of the way and then get back to work," said Arthur standing to his feet.

"No," said Merlin quickly. "I need to talk to you about something."

"About what?"

"Gardening."

"What?" Arthur blinked.

"Just…it's important."

"I'll see you both later then," said Gwen, and left.

Arthur sighed and sitting back down, looked up at Merlin. "Well what is it?"

"You remember," said Merlin talking very fast. "When I told you about the woman I talked about gardening with?"

"Yes."

"Well it wasn't gardening. It was magic."

"Yes," said Arthur, rolling his eyes, "As clever a lie as it was, I did gather as much after I found out about you."

"Alright well," Merlin began to pace. "I met her some time sgo. A few weeks before I met you actually. She just…she showed up and found me. She had magic. And she talked about it with me and shared it with me. I mean the only other person who knew about my magic then was Gaius. But this woman…we'd meet out in the woods at night and sometimes we'd cast spells or sometimes we'd just talk. It was…freeing but it was also…company. I mean before you came to Camelot there weren't that many people I could talk to. And also she made me feel…like there was something good I could do with my magic." Merlin stopped pacing and sunk into a chair opposite Arthur. "I've always felt like I had to have been given magic for a reason but not knowing that reason…I feel lost. But when I was with her, I felt maybe like I did have a destiny. Something important to do. She'd talk about the great era we could create together, the good we could make with our magic, and I believed her. I believed that we had that power."

"What made you stop trusting her?" asked Arthur seriously.

Merlin shrugged. "It was little things at first. Of course two sorcerers, together, meeting in Camelot, we talked about Uther and the ban on magic. It started small, we'd talk about the ban and sometimes some of the stories we'd heard of some of the people caught using magic. Then she started saying how one day there would be change. And she talked about the great things we could do when that day came, then she started talking about how maybe we could bring about that change ourselves…"

Merlin sighed and shook his head. "It happened so slowly, over the course of so many nights, so that suddenly one night she was talking about us stopping Uther together, and I didn't know how we'd gotten there."

"She wanted to kill him?" asked Arthur, alarmed.

"She was definitely making some not so subtle hints in that direction," said Merlin wryly nodding.

Arthur frowned. "Do you think she would really do it?"

"I don't know," said Merlin, standing up and beginning to pace again. "But she would definitely do something. She's here now. She's up at the castle! She's staying as a guest. She was being all friendly with Morgana."

Arthur stood to his feet. "She's here? Do you know what she wants?"

"No. Since you've found out about my magic…well I haven't seen much of her. I think she may suspect that I don't entirely trust her anymore. I'm not sure Morgause would tell me her plans anymore."

"Did you say Morgause?" Arthur asked, shocked.

"Yes. Do you know her?"

"Yes," said Arthur gravely. "Unfortunately I do."


End file.
